


Conflicted

by kroas_adtam, OrangePatrick



Category: All Time Low (Band)
Genre: Anger, Drinking, Fluff, Hawaii, Jealousy, Last Young Renegades, M/M, Merrikat, Pining, Rilex - Freeform, Touring, Traveling, all time low - Freeform, lots of jealousy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-23
Updated: 2018-01-23
Packaged: 2019-03-08 15:44:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 26,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13461390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kroas_adtam/pseuds/kroas_adtam, https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrangePatrick/pseuds/OrangePatrick
Summary: If you looked up the word 'Jealousy' you'd see the definition; noun: the state or feeling of being jealous.If Zack Merrick looked up the word 'Jealousy,' he'd see a picture of his own damn face.





	1. Frustrating

“Seriously, dude, what’s your deal?”

 

“There is no deal, man!”

 

Jack grabbed Zack’s wrist, picking up his own pace to keep up with the obviously irritated bassist. “You’ve been acting weird.”

 

“I’m just tired, Jack,” Zack replied, still walking at a brisk pace, nearly ripping his arm away from Jack. “Just drop it, we’ve got somewhere to be.”   
  


“I’m not going to drop it when you--”   
  


“Jack. I said drop. It.” He finally turned his hazel eyes on his best friend, Jack flinched seeing a hurricane of emotions in them. He turned away and made his way back to the van that waited for the band to take them to the hotel. It was almost 2am, they had just finished an interview and Zack was trying his damnedest to not freak out on Jack and Alex.

 

Rian and Alex were trailing behind the two, watching with interest. Rian leaned to Alex and whispered something to him, before following Jack into the van. Alex took a seat next to Zack, Rian and Jack taking up the middle bench of the transport vehicle.

 

“Hey, we’re switching rooms tonight.” Alex said, looking at the bassist.

 

“Ex-fucking-scuse me?” He said, eyes going wide and angry. He wasn’t sure he could survive a night alone with Jack in a hotel room.

 

“Rian has something he wants to show me and we might go to the bar, it’ll just be easier if I stay in his room tonight.”

 

Zack narrowed his eyes at the singer.  _ Sure. _

 

There was something there that Zack just couldn’t pinpoint. Alex and Jack had always been close-- like, crossed-fingers close-- and they still were. They still cuddled during interviews and kissed each other on stage, but more and more, in the band’s leisure time, Alex and Rian were going off together. It certainly didn’t help his mood, being stuck as Jack’s we’re-in-a-strange-city-buddy (and ergo, Jack’s drinking partner), while Alex and Rian went to go have their fun.

 

He felt like a teenager: the burning hot jealousy of Jack falling all over himself for Alex, and then the anxiety of being left alone with Jack. The worst part was the fact that he did, genuinely, used to think it was funny and enjoy all the antics. Ever since this stupid crush developed, he knows that he’s been distant with them. Thankfully, Zack has always been quiet during interviews and fan interactions, so his silence went unnoticed by the public. His bandmates, however, were quickly catching on that something wasn’t right. He just needed to get better at hiding his feelings.

 

The van pulled up to the hotel and Zack was the first one out, helping haul out everyone else’s overnight bags from the mess of cords and amps and merch boxes. As soon as the last bag is taken, they head inside and to the front desk. He got his and Jack’s room key a bit reluctantly, then asked about where the gym was. If there was a gym, at least he would have an excuse to stay out of the hotel room.

 

“I’m so sorry, our gym is actually under renovation right now.” The concierge apologized to the muscular man carrying the majority of the bags. 

 

Zack could feel a vein throb in his temple. “Then can you please tell me what the weather will be like tomorrow?” He asked, trying to stay polite as possible, but his nerves nearly getting the best of him. Maybe if it was nice out he could at least go for a run.

 

“Let me look,” She tapped on her keyboard. “Oh dear, they’re predicting thunderstorm all day starting at 4am.” She looked apologetic at Zack. 

 

“Oh no, Zack you’ll have to take one day off of your workout routine, what  _ ever _ shall you do?” Alex teased, a shit-eating grin on his face. Zack was still irritated with Alex too, so he ignored the sarcastic comment and made his way to the elevator, leaving the three in the lobby waiting for Rian and Alex to get the key to the adjoining room.

 

‘ _ You’re causing concern, you’re being a dick to Alex, and he did nothing wrong. Get your shit together Merrick, before you do something you’ll regret.’ _ He thought angrily to himself waiting for the elevator doors to open. Just as they slid open with a ding, the other three had caught up. Zack stood in the back silently, staring anywhere but where he wanted. He could feel glances being thrown his way, but he just kept his eyes on the floor, repeating the room number in his head to keep his invading thoughts at bay.

 

“...ack…. Zack!”  Zack’s head popped back up to see only he and Rian were in the elevator, the drummer waiting patiently while holding the door open. “Jesus, dude, I know it’s been a long day, but at least wait to be in a bed to fall asleep.” 

 

Zack brushed by him towards the rooms. Jack had his own key so the door was propped open, Zack could hear Alex and Jack talking in low voices and his jealousy surged through him like a white-hot poker. He pushed open the door with his shoulder, dumped Jack’s bag next to the guitarist on the bed, dumped Alex’s and Rian’s bags at Alex’s feet, and took his own into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him. He turned on the shower before letting out a groan of frustration, bracing himself against the sink counter, trying not to think of Jack’s face, trying not to think of Jack’s  _ anything _ , especially trying not to think about the rage of jealousy that was eating him alive. He looked in the mirror and clenched his jaw.

 

‘ _ You're being a fucking dick. Don’t feel this way anymore.’ _ He clenched his fist, took a shaky breath, stripped down and stepped into the hot shower, trying to let his thoughts cloud with the steam of the shower.

 

He felt a little bit better after washing up, but still took the time to just stand under the warm spray for a while. It was relaxing, and he knew he needed to figure out an explanation for his behavior.  _ Fuck, _ feelings are difficult. He didn’t even know when this had started… but now Jack Barakat was the only thing on his mind, ever. It was excruciating, watching him flirt with everyone but Zack.

 

Although, they’d done their fair share of cuddling as well. Zack liked the way Jack hugged him: the way Zack could just tuck into his side, hand on Jack’s slender waist. They just fit together-- at least, that’s the way Zack saw it. And there was that one time, when they were drunk, that Jack had excitedly straddled Zack on the couch, and the way he’d moved those  _ hips _ \--

 

There was a loud knock on the bathroom door. “Hey, man, don’t use all the hot water,” Jack yelled.

 

Zack pressed his forehead to the shower wall and sighed, then turned off the warm stream. It was gonna be a long night.

 

When he stepped out, towelling his hair, he shot Jack an apologetic glance. “Sorry. All yours.”

 

Jack didn’t give him a silly pout or snarky comment or crude joke: he just stared at Zack for a moment, a contemplative expression on his face. It’s so rare that Zack hardly recognizes it before the expression is gone and Jack was jumping up to go take his turn in the shower.

 

Zack tried not to dwell on the image too much.

 

He was flipping channels when Jack came out of the bathroom in a T-shirt and boxers, bored out of his mind. Instead of taking his own bed, Jack flopped down comfortably next to Zack, quickly pressing himself into the bassist’s side. “Are you mad at me?” he mumbled, looking up at Zack with his big doe eyes.

 

“Wh-- no, no, I promise,” Zack answered, completely unsure what to do with himself.

 

“You were acting mad earlier,” Jack pointed out, sitting up. “Did we say something during the interview? What happened?”

 

Zack sighed, mind whirring a hundred miles a minute trying to figure out what to say. “I just-- well, you know. Rian and I have talked about it before, how it doesn’t really matter if we’re there or not, anyway…”

 

That got Jack pouting. “But then who will tie my hoodie strings to microphones? And touch my face while I’m talking? And--”

 

Finally, Zack laughed, shoving at Jack’s shoulder. “Shut up. I do it out of boredom.”

 

Jack grinned at him, expression almost… fond. “It wouldn’t be fun without you and Rian, y’know?” he said more seriously. “I know Alex and I like to play it up and everything, but you guys are our best friends, too.”

 

_ Right. Of course. _

 

“I know,” Zack sighed, leaning back against the pillows. “I’m sorry for being upset.”

 

“No worries,” Jack answered, yawning and sprawling across the rest of the bed. “I’m glad you’re not mad at me…”

 

“Are you serious?” Zack huffed, gesturing to the completely open other bed. “You’re gonna just take up all my space?”

 

Jack responded by throwing an arm and a leg over Zack, pulling the bassist away from his comfortable spot on the edge of the bed. Then he started to fake-snore, turning his head away from Zack and pretending to sleep.

 

Zack sighed and got comfortable, accepting his fate. “Fine, fine. Goodnight.”

 

He stared at the ceiling a bit, far too aware of the spaces Jack was touching him, they were hot, too hot in the cold hotel room air. He could tell by Jack’s light breathing he was still awake.

 

“Jack, can I ask you something?”

 

Jack turned his head, his nose brushing against Zack’s shoulder. “You don’t have to ask, to ask me something.” He replied.

 

Zack chewed on the question that sat on the tip of his tongue. “You know what, nevermind, it’s stupid.”

 

“You sure?” Jack said, yawning a bit more, the long day finally getting to him.

 

“Yeah, get some sleep.”

 

“Alright, you too.” Jack sighed, scooting ever so slightly closer, resting his cheek against Zack’s shoulder.

 

_ Great. _

 

Zack sighed, adjusting his free arm to behind his head, and closed his eyes, Jack’s even breathing lulling him to sleep. A few hours later, he woke up and squinted his eyes in the dark. He groaned, his mouth dry, his neck stiff from sleeping on his arm. He glanced down in the dark and could make out that Jack was spooning his side, head rested firmly on his chest. As much as his sleep-bogged brain screamed to stay still, he slid out of the guitarist’s hold and went to find some water. 

 

He passed the adjoining door that connected their room to Alex’s and Rian’s, thought he might of heard something but ignored it for a moment to get some water from the bathroom tap. He paused in the little hallway from the bathroom back to the bed to take a drink when he  _ definitely  _ heard something. He was awake enough to press his ear to the door, his entire body flushing red when he heard moans, Alex loudly calling Rian’s name, Rian telling him to shush, and the slapping of skin.

 

_ Oh my fucking God. _

 

Zack backed away from the door, nearly dropping the glass. So that’s why Alex wanted to switch rooms, the fucking idiot. He stared at the shadow of the door, his mind fully awake, filled with racing thoughts. He set the glass down and climbed back into bed next to Jack. He could have taken the empty bed, he could have lied on the opposite side, where Jack had left open, but instead he crawled back into Jack’s space, the guitarist regripping Zack’s body like a spider monkey in his sleep.

 

He stared at the ceiling again. Alex and Rian are sleeping together. Alex and Rian are  _ sleeping _ together. ‘ _ Holy shit, it makes so much more sense now.’ _ He always wondered why Rian was always a little tense with Jack after interviews or stage nonsense where he and Alex were a little  _ too _ friendly. Rian had been where Zack is. The difference being, Rian had a legitimate reason to be jealous. And Zack’s was only high-school pining. His heart sank a little, looking at the silhouette of the man he was pining after. Rian and Alex had everything he wished he could have with Jack. 

 

And it was going to kill him.

 

The next morning, Zack and Alex were the first two awake. Zack was sitting in the breakfast lounge drizzling syrup on his waffles when Alex tossed himself into the chair across from the bassist.

 

“Long night?” Zack asked.

 

There was a teasing edge to his voice that has Alex feeling much more awake than he had been just moments ago. “Uh, yeah, kind of,” he mumbled, ripping off a piece of Zack’s waffle with his bare hands. “It was alright. Rian and I stayed up pretty late, but, y’know…” Alex babbled for a little bit, spurred by nerves and the fucking look that Zack was giving him. “Um, I’m gonna go get food, those muffins over there look good, I’ll be back!”

 

When Alex got to the long table of free continental breakfast, he took a deep breath. He was definitely overreacting. Zack might think he was being weird. He just needed to chill. With renewed determination, Alex grabbed a plate of muffins and an orange, then returned to their table.

 

“I love free breakfast,” Alex sighed, biting into the first of three muffins on his plate.

 

Zack hummed, smirking into his waffles, hands steady as he cut it into smaller pieces. “So how long have you two been banging?”

 

Alex promptly choked. “Wh-- what?” He laughed nervously, hands twitching and waving a little. “Who? Me and Rian? No, no--”

 

“Dude, I heard you guys last night.”

 

Alex frowned, suddenly very interested in the texture of his plate.

 

Zack realized that maybe this was not how he was supposed to find out. “I’m sorry if you-- I mean, this is kind of a shitty way to come out, so-- if you’re uncomfortable we don’t have to-- I was just teasing, you know?”

 

With a short huff, Alex finally looked back up at him. “We’ve been together for a while, now. Few months. And it’s not just, y’know… sex. We do go on dates and stuff, and he makes me really happy, Zack.”

 

“Were you ever going to tell Jack and me?”

 

“I don’t know,” Alex admitted. “We figured we’d be okay keeping it secret for a while. Eventually, yeah, we would’ve told you two. But you know how Jack will say anything to anyone when he’s drunk-- not that I don’t trust him!-- I’m just scared he’d say something to someone and then we’d have this big ordeal on our hands. And the band is doing so well… I guess I’m scared of getting any negative attention. Is that stupid?”

 

Zack met Alex’s worried gaze. As confidently as he could, Zack answered, “Alex, it’s not stupid to want to keep your private life… well, private. That’s up to you and whoever you’re with. And honestly, I’d like to believe that our fans would be happy as long as you are. I know that, as your friend, I’m happy that you’re happy.”

 

Alex’s smile was blinding. “That means the world to me, Zack. Thank you.”

 

They quietly ate their breakfast together after that, not saying much. Then Alex felt Zack’s gaze on him again and looked up.

 

Zack grinned. “Y’know, this really explains why Rian gets kind of huffy after you and Jack act all mushy during interviews. He’s  _ jealous. _ That’s so cute.”

 

Alex blushed dark at that, shaking his messy bangs in front of his eyes. “Shut up,” he mumbled, grinning back. “He’s fine with it. Although,” he smirked, looking at Zack out from under his bangs, “that sounds very familiar… is there something you wanna talk about, Merrick?”

 

Alex watched as Zack’s face drained and paled. “N-no. No, not really.”

 

“You know you can talk to me about anything, bro.”

 

“I know!” Zack insisted, stabbing his waffle a little aggressively. Then he looked at Alex with a guilty expression. “Sorry, I just…”

 

“He’s oblivious. I know.” Alex’s smirk grew wider. “ _ But I’m not. _ ”

 

It was like that statement just crumbled Zack’s walls.

 

“It kills me to watch him tripping all over you,” he admitted, toying with a paper napkin. “And I know I’ve been acting differently, and I’m not sure how to just… get over it. I know it’s all just jokes and teasing, but… I don’t know. I feel dumb. I hate this stupid crush.”

 

Alex gently touched the back of his hand. “Dude, you never know until you try.”

 

Listening to Zack actually admit he had a crush on Jack was giving Alex more internal conflict than Zack would ever know. Alex could still clearly picture Jack’s face from back in high school, staring at Alex with wide eyes, saying, “We  _ have _ to get that hot skater guy to be our bassist.” Alex could still feel the way Jack had pushed his face into Alex’s shoulder, mumbling, “If we play it up, you and me, then it’ll be fine.” Alex could still remember thinking,  _ Acting gay with your best friend won’t help you with your crush on your other best friend, but yeah, okay. _ He had played therapist for Jack’s pining ever since the beginning, and now here was Zack, confessing that Jack’s feelings were reciprocated.

 

What the  _ fuck _ was Alex supposed to do?

 

Zack sighed, poking at his waffle, no longer interested in eating it. Alex kept lightly petting his hand, trying to help him feel a little better, telling him some nonsense advice to get Jack to notice him, Zack only responding by mumbling that they didn’t live in a damned anime show.

 

“Ahem.” Zack looked up to see Rian and Jack standing by the table with plates of food in their hands. Zack couldn’t help but notice the way Alex’s face lit up at seeing Rian. He scooted over while the two pulled up chairs, taking their seats. Zack glanced at Jack who was very focused on his glass of orange juice.

 

“Alex and I are going to go see a show today since the weather is shitty. You guys want to come?” Rian asked, peeling a banana.

 

“Nah, I’m good. Might see if I can wait out the rain and find a place to run.”

 

“It’s supposed to rain all-- ow,” Alex said, glaring at Rian who must have kicked him under the table or something. “ _ Fine _ , be antisocial.” He teased Zack. “What about you, J? Up for a musical?”

 

Jack thought about it, but then thought about his huge pile of laundry to be done hiding in his duffle bag. “No, I’ve got some stuff to do. I’ll be antisocial with Zack.”

 

_ Great. _

 

Zack pressed his lips into a tight line. The whole point was to  _ avoid  _ being alone with Jack. Zack waited for the other two to finish breakfast before they all headed back upstairs. Alex and Rian went to their room to get ready for their day together, leaving Jack and Zack to go to their room. Zack sunk down on his freshly made bed, looking out the window at the thunderstorm that was raging outside. Jack picked up his bag, putting it on the bed to sort through the laundry he needed to do. But he paused and smiled at Zack.

 

“You know, this’ll be kinda nice. We never really hang just you and I anymore. We can watch a movie and go to the local bars and stuff.”

 

‘ _ Oh yeah, tons of fun. _ ’ Zack nodded, looking at Jack. He smiled but it felt stiff. “Yeah, sounds like a good rainy day.” His invading thoughts screaming loudly at the aspect of being stuck in a hotel room all day with the guy he was hella-fucking-gay for. ‘ _ A great fucking day.’ _

 

“I’m gonna go find the hotel laundry room, you find something for us to watch on pay-per-view. And if it’s porn, I prefer the kinky stuff.” He snickered and left with his bag. He paused outside the hotel room, the door closed behind him, his face burning red. ‘ _ WHY DID I SAY THAT????’ _

 

Zack stared at the closed door, very tempted to order porn and watch Jack  _ squirm _ .

 

But he didn’t. He knew he probably couldn’t restrain himself in such a situation. He sighed and picked a Tim Burton movie, unsure which one it was, and not really caring. He kept it on pause, waiting for Jack to return. He took out his phone and texted Alex in the meantime.

 

‘You should have made Jack go with you guys.’ Sent at 10:07am.

 

The grey bubble popped up as Alex typed his reply.

 

‘Three’s a crowd. Plus, Jack doesn’t like _ Les Miserables _ , he would have gotten bored and gone back to you half way through.’ Received at 10:09am.

 

_ Gone back to me? _ He made a face, his fingers flying across his keypad, but he kept back tracking, everything he was saying sounded too aggressive, and it wasn’t fair that he was taking out his repressed emotions on Alex. He sighed and rubbed his face.

 

‘Enjoy the musical.’ Send at 10:16am.

 

‘Thanks!’ Received at 10:16am.

 

Jack walked back into the room with an empty duffle bag, tapping away on his own phone. Zack watched him for a moment, before Jack looked up and smiled at him.

 

“What are we watching?” He tossed the empty bag onto the floor and flopped down on the bed where Zack sat, giving up all premise of taking the empty bed.

 

“It’s called Wet Daddy, it was the nastiest porn they had available.” Zack mumbled, hooking his phone up to the charger.

 

Jack stared wide-eyed at the bassist, his face flushing dark red. “I-I… Wh-- I---”

 

Zack grinned and butted his knuckles against Jack’s shoulder. “I’m kidding. I ordered Nightmare Before Christmas, I think. I wasn’t really paying attention.” He hit play and the opening credits revealed it was in fact Jack’s favorite movie. Zack was sitting on the edge of the bed, Jack comfortable against the pillows, watching the bassist instead of the movie.

 

_ ‘How is it you manage to tease me relentlessly then turn around and watch my favorite movie with me? Why are you so hard to get a read on?’ _ He sighed, his eyes tracing over Zack.  _ ‘And why do you have to be so fucking hot? _ ’

 

Zack turned around after the third sigh. “What’s wrong? Don’t want to watch it?”

 

“No, no, nothing’s wrong.” He said turning his attention to the TV screen. “Are you gonna sit on the edge the entire time, or are you going to get up here with me?”

 

“I’m waiting to see if the rain is going to break.”

 

“You’re not going for a run, you’re gonna sit here and spend quality time with me, damn it.”

 

Zack blinked at Jack, surprised by the aggressive response. “Yeah, okay.”

 

He crawled up until his head was level with Jack’s shoulder. Jack wriggled a little bit until he could pull Zack partially onto his chest; when Zack relaxed against him, Jack was satisfied. He and Zack used to be a lot closer in height, but he was very happy with the difference now-- he liked the way Zack tucked into his side, despite being a huge hunk of pure muscles.

 

He tried to change his focus to the movie. It got them through to lunchtime. Jack was content to just stay in bed, having been dozing a little bit, but Zack got up as the credits started rolling. He stretched his arms up over his head, rolled his shoulders a bit, then stood. (Jack was not drooling, Jack was not drooling, Jack was not--!)

 

“Where do you wanna get lunch?” Zack asked, finding a snapback and pulling it on over his tousled bedhead.

 

“Is it still raining?” Jack asked, glancing at the window.

 

“Not as bad,” Zack said, pulling back the curtains to look outside. “There are a couple places just across the street on the other block. I’m sure we’d be fine.”

 

Jack grinned almost shyly. “You sure you won’t run off on me?”

 

Zack rolled his eyes and laughed. “No, I’m gonna sit here and spend quality time with you, dammit!”

 

Butterflies erupted in Jack’s stomach at the fondness in Zack’s tone. It was an inevitable fact of life for him at this point. Jack grinned unabashedly. “Damn right you are!”

 

“Do you want Taco Bell, uh, looks like a diner of some kind, and there’s a Thai place?”

 

Zack turned and caught Jack’s bright smile as the guitarist replied, “Dude, we gotta go Thai! I’m so weak for the mango rice dessert things!”

 

On their way out of the hotel room, Zack remembered he had an umbrella stored away in his backpack, so he grabbed it just in case the rain started up again. Once the pair got outside, Jack skipped ahead, splashing his way through puddles that had gathered in potholes and around storm drains. Zack watched from a little ways back, smiling to himself. He was glad he’d actually decided to hang out with Jack. He missed the ease of their friendship. Jack was so lighthearted, almost naive; Zack felt bad for being distant. But… his feelings were making things difficult. He just needed to act like everything was normal.

 

(It was almost becoming a mantra at that point: act normal act normal act normal act normal...)

 

But it was difficult sometimes. Their normal included affection, lots of it. Something that used to be completely platonic, but now always left Zack wanting more. More of something he couldn’t have. 

 

Act normal, act normal, act  _ normal. _

 

They continued walking to the restaurant, Zack scolding Jack a bit when Jack started to complain that his socks and the bottom of his jeans were wet now.

 

“Well, puddles exist to be jumped in, Zack.” He said pouting a bit.

 

Zack chuckled, holding the umbrella above them both. “I’ll consider that next time.” They walked together under the umbrella, shoulders flush together to keep them dry from the rain. Well… To keep Zack dry and keep Jack from getting wetter. Making it to the restaurant, they were seated and Zack regretted the option immediately. This was obviously a very romantic restaurant, even at 1pm, it was dimly lit, candles at each table.

 

“Oh my, how lovely of you to take me on a date Zackykins.” Jack grinned, resting his chin in his hand.

 

Zack had to force a grin out. He had to ignore the pang in his heart. This isn’t where he’d take Jack on their first date. He had that entire endeavor planned out. Another thing he was sure he’d never get to experience.

 

_ Act normal, act normal, act fucking normal. _

 

They ordered food, Zack bypassing Jack’s flirting words, trying to keep his head above water, making this experience least painful as possible. But Jack was just getting frustrated. He and Zack used to have such great banter, they could throw flirting teasing words at each other for all hours of the day, but now… He was lucky if he could get a 10 minute conversation out of Zack.

 

And it hurt.

 

Jack fell quiet through lunch, barely interested in the mango sticky rice Zack ordered for him. 

 

“Jack?” Zack asked, taking a bite of his own sticky rice. “What’s wrong? You’re not normally this quiet.”

 

Jack shrugged in response, picking at the mango slices with his fork. Zack reached over and touched his hand, Jack jumping in response, pulling his hand away. Zack blinked at him, pulling his own hand away.

 

‘Oh… oh no.’ Jack swallowed watching his best friend’s face fall. ‘No, no, no don’t look like that.’ But he couldn’t find his voice. So they ate their dessert in silence.

 

Jack’s mind raced, the image of Zack’s falling expression seared in his mind. He wanted to do so many things to comfort his best friend, but Zack was distant now, and would more than likely reject him.

 

“Do… you know when Al and uh...Rian are coming back?” Jack asked quietly, while Zack paid for their meal. He was looking at his shoes, so he missed the way Zack’s jaw clenched.

 

“Should be back soon, I guess. The musical is 4 hours long, I think.” His voice was clipped as he answered. Jack just nodded. 

 

They walked back to the hotel without the umbrella, it was barely spitting mist now. Zack decided he had had enough quality time and  _ needed _ to go for a run. Before he did something he really would regret. They got to the room in silence, Zack changed into his running gear and left, leaving Jack alone sitting on the bed.

 

_ Fuck _ .

 

Jack grabbed his phone and flicked through his Twitter feed for a couple minutes but got bored quick enough. Knowing that Zack’s weird mood was his fault made Jack feel almost nauseous. Was it touching his hand? They used to be so affectionate, it shouldn’t have been a problem… Maybe it was the date joke? Why didn’t Zack just joke back? This was so frustrating! Zack was being elusive and Jack just wanted straight answers. Fuck, did Zack know that Jack liked him? After all these years of pining, trying to be subtle, had Zack figured it out? And didn’t want anything to do with Jack anymore?

 

He pulled up the messaging app to text Alex, then remembered that Alex was still at that play with Rian. The two of them had been getting pretty chummy the past couple months…

 

Was it Jack? Was it just some aspect of his own personality that just made all his friends distant?

 

That couldn’t be it. He and Alex had been perfectly cuddly the other day, and Zack had shared the hotel bed with him twice now… but all those things had been Jack’s ideas, Jack starting it. Maybe they really  _ didn’t _ like the way he acted. After all these years, someone would’ve said something, right?

 

Jack knew he came across as very two-dimensional: he was the funny weirdo, the guy who made all the sex jokes, the one people laughed at because 8th grade humor never gets old.

 

His chest felt tight. Like hell he’d cry, though.

 

How long would Zack be gone? Where was he going, when he was on this run? How could he even run when they’d just finished eating?

 

Going to the hotel laundry room only took so much time, and he couldn’t stop himself from thinking.

 

Back in the room, he caved and texted Alex.

 

‘When you come back can we switch rooms again I miss you’ Sent at 1:23pm.

 

He reopened Twitter, hoping that the clusterfuck of famous people and bad politicians would distract him from his own personal miseries.

 

‘What happened??’ Received at 1:54pm.

 

‘I don’t know but he’s mad and I think I’m gonna vomit I can’t do this’ Sent at 1:55pm.

 

‘The play is almost over. We’ll be back to the hotel soon. xx’ Received at 2:01pm.

 

At least he knew Alex still cared about him, still wanted to be his friend. Or was he just ruining Alex’s time with Rian? Was it obnoxious to beg for your best friend’s company while they were busy with other people, enjoying other things? Jack had never cared about that before. He shouldn’t start now.

 

Still, it weighed down in his stomach until Alex knocked on their hotel door.

 

“You look miserable.”

 

“If you hated me, you’d say something, right?”

 

“Jack, Zack doesn’t hate you.”

 

“He left right after lunch and I haven’t seen him since.”

 

Alex sighed, pulled Jack into a tight embrace, and walked them over to one of the beds. It had been a long time since he’d last seen Jack feeling like this. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”

 

“I don’t  _ know _ what happened! But lately he won’t ever tease me back or respond to my dumb jokes and I-- I just--”

 

“Shh, it’s okay. That’s not your fault, Jack. And that doesn’t mean he  _ hates _ you.”

 

Jack pulled his face from Alex’s shoulder to look the singer dead in the eye. “What if he found out? What if that’s why he’s been acting distant with me? Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit--”

 

“Jack! Take a deep breath.”

 

Rian came in the room with a glass of water, sitting next to Jack too. “You okay, bud?” He handed the water to Jack, making sure he drank it. Alex flashed a small thank you smile to the drummer, but keeping most of his attention on Jack. Rian didn’t mind, he was happy that Jack wasn’t cutting them out like it seemed Zack was. He lightly patted Jack’s back, making the guitarist turn and give him a bear hug too. Rain chuckled and hugged his friend.

 

“Don’t worry, Jackie, Zack’s just going through something. He’ll be okay soon.” Alex said, rubbing Jack’s back before turning Rian’s bear hug into a group hug.

 

“I’ll go get you a pick-me-up from the bar.” Rian said, grinning to Jack. “What would you like?”

 

“Mmmmm Rian special. Surprise me.” He grinned back.

 

“You got it.” Rian left, leaving Alex and Jack alone. Jack sighed, his shoulders slumping again.

 

“He ordered me dessert at lunch today. He  _ paid _ for my lunch today.”

 

“See, he doesn’t hate you.” Alex said, starting to wonder where the hell Zack had gone, he was reaching the three hour mark.

 

“Yeah but… he doesn’t…  _ like _ me either…” He mumbled, the tightness in his chest returning.

 

Alex could see the cloud forming in Jack’s mind. “Jack…”

 

“Please… Make Rian trade rooms with me…”

 

Alex sighed and hugged him again. “Okay… okay… we’ll trade…”

 

“You’re trading rooms?” The sound of the door snapping shut made them break apart. Zack was standing there, drenched in sweat and rain, looking between Jack and Alex, his eyes falling on the way Alex still had his arms around Jack and Jack had his hands on Alex’s sides. His jaw clenched feeling the jealousy surge through him again. “Hm. It’ll be interesting sharing a room with you, Al.”

 

Alex glanced at Jack. “A-actually, Rian will be in here.”

 

_ Of course he will. _

 

Zack just wanted to hear it. He nodded and grabbed his bag, going back into the bathroom. He started the shower and sat on the closed toilet, placing his face in his hands. He trembled a bit. Pushing Jack away hurt even worse if not more than just going along with his affectionate best friend. But now Jack was pushing him away. And Zack knew he deserved it for being a prick to all of them.

 

But it didn’t mean it hurt any less.

 

Hours later, skipping a group dinner, Zack was alone in the hotel room. Rian hadn’t come back yet, and he knew Alex was with him, which meant that Jack was likely alone in the connected room. He looked at the door unable to focus on anything but the guitarist behind it. He sighed and picked up his phone opening his texts, looking at the last time he texted Jack.

 

Four days ago.

 

What the hell was wrong with him? Why did he insist on making himself suffer like this? Maybe he could get over Jack if he just found someone to date. Or even a fucking one-night stand. Something,  _ anything _ to get Jack out of his mind. He swung his legs over the bed, got up and pulled on his jacket, making his way out of the room and down to the hotel bar.

 

Jack heard the adjoining hotel room door close. He wondered where Zack had gone off to, but didn’t bother getting up, burrowed under the blankets of the bed. He hoped Alex would come back soon, he didn’t like being in a bed alone, hence always sharing one with his bandmates. He opened his phone to his text app, hovering over Zack’s name before sighing and turning off the screen. He really wanted to text Zack, to tell him to come cuddle him. But he wasn’t sure he could handle anymore rejection.

 

Zack was sitting at the bar-top, staring deep into the eyes of his shot of tequila. He downed it, then held up fingers, calling for two more. If he couldn’t get laid, maybe blackout drunk would be adequate.

 

“You know those shot glasses are certainly not worth the gaze you’re giving them.” The bartender chuckled. Zack looked up as he set down one empty glass and pulled the full one to him.

 

“Oh yeah? How would you know?” He muttered.

 

“Oh man, I know that tone. Girl trouble.” Zack didn’t flinch. “Oh? Boy trouble then?”

 

Zack made a bit of a face.

 

“My my, I wouldn’t imagine such a manly skater boy is gay.”

 

“Mm not gay.” Just hella-fucking-gay for this one stupid guy with a Nightmare Before Christmas obsession.

 

“Sure you’re not.” He leaned forward, turning the charm on the drinking bassist. “How many more shots, baby?”

 

“Two more. Don’t call me baby.”

 

The bartender poured two more shots for Zack, and one for himself. Zack shot the liquor back and his shoulders slumped, his mind wandering back to his best friend upstairs. His mind wandering to climbing into bed with his best friend, cuddling him, holding him tight, kissing him, f---

 

Zack groaned and put his head on the counter. “I fucking hate this.”

 

The bartender came around the counter a few minutes later, apparently off his shift. “You know, watching a guy take seven shots of tequila because of boy trouble is pretty hot. I can see you’re actively suppressing your gay, and I can also see that you have a raging hard on right now, while your drunk brain is obviously  _ not _ thinking about your boy trouble.”

 

“Leave me alone.” He muttered crossing his legs under the bar. It was humiliating that a complete stranger was seeing him in this state. He just wanted to be in bed. This was the worst idea he had acted on in a while. He wanted his phone to buzz, he wanted Jack to want him.

 

He wanted Jack to just fucking like him.

 

His phone lit up as if on command.

 

“Oh? Your boy trouble finally reaching out?”

 

Zack ignored the stranger who had gotten him drunk and opened the text, closing one eye to make the letters stop swimming. It was from Rian.

 

‘Where are you? You left your roomkey up here.’ Received at 11:34pm.

 

‘Bar.’ Sent at 11:45pm.

 

It was the most cohesive thing he could type.

 

“Hey.” The stranger reached over and turned Zack’s head to him. “Forget your boy trouble. Come have some fun with me. I know a little place where we can dance.” He smirked at Zack, drinking in his handsome face. Zack blinked slowly at the stranger, wishing it was Jack.

 

“Fine.” Zack muttered, still avoiding the hotel room, knowing Alex and Jack were probably tangled together under some blankets.

 

The stranger got Zack to stand and took him down the hall, to what wasn’t a dance club, but the coat closet. Zack was too drunk to care. The smaller stranger managed to push the strong mass of muscles into the closet and against the wall, kissing him too aggressively.

 

“My name’s Bryan, by the way--” He panted out, trying too hard to look like a porn actor.

 

“I don’t give a shit.” Zack muttered, grabbing his face and kissing him hard, taking out all his frustrations with Jack on this guy’s mouth. Bryan’s kisses were sloppy, too wet and unsatisfying. The moment his hands went of Zack’s belt buckle was the moment Zack was sober enough to push him away. He glared at the bartender and left the closet, furious with himself, furious for letting someone take advantage of him. Furious that he  _ wanted _ to be taken advantage of but only by  _ Jack _ .

 

He managed to make his way to the hotel room, banging on the door to get Rian to let him in. Rian opened the door and stepped back, letting the drunk bassist in. He stumbled in and saw that the three of them had been having a movie night, he could see where Rian had vacated next to Alex, Jack tucked into Alex’s other side. The three of them were staring wide-eyed at how drunk Zack was.

 

“Holy shit, you smell like a barroom floor.” Rian muttered, helping Zack out of his jacket. Zack’s eyes hadn’t left Jack, his anger from making out with a stranger while drunk was misdirected. He grabbed his bag and went to the connecting door.

 

“I’m sleeping alone.” He snapped before shutting the door behind him, locking it, even though Rian and Alex had a key.

 

“Uh…” Alex managed after a minute of shocked silence. He looked down at Jack who had buried his face into Alex’s side. “Well Ri, you okay sharing the room with us?”

 

Rian nodded, taking his spot next to Alex again. First opportunity he was going to get in the morning, he was going to kick Zack’s ass.

 

Alex sighed as Rian settled next to him, the singer carding his hands through Jack’s hair. So much for two hotel nights of being alone with his boyfriend-- but that was okay. He needed to be here for Jack. Rian understood that. He took advantage of the fact that Jack was sunk into Alex’s side to put an arm around the singer’s shoulders and silently press a kiss into his temple. Alex smiled a bit, wiggling down some so he could rest his head on Rian’s shoulder. Jack rested his head on Alex’s chest, his mind wandering to his other best friend locked behind a door, drunk and alone.

 

“Someone should probably check on him…” Jack muttered, knowing that Zack could get super clumsy when he was drunk. And he also tended to puke. A lot.

 

“I’ll check on him in an hour or so.” Rian said, running his fingers through Alex’s hair.

 

“Don’t worry, Jack, we’ll make sure he’s okay.” Alex said, resting his hand on Jack’s shoulder. The guitarist sighed and closed his eyes, not able to think of anything but Zack Merrick. But that wasn’t new, Zack usually took up 90% of his thoughts.

 

Zack was sitting on the edge of the tub, holding head head in his hands. The room was spinning, he felt gross from making out with a stranger, he was hungry from skipping dinner, and the tequila sloshed in his stomach angrily. He regretted drinking, he regretted getting mad at everyone.

 

He regretted having such deep feelings for his best friend.

 

Zack’s feelings were ruining everything. He needed to get his shit together. Swallow his feelings, act normal. Flirt with Jack like he used to. Maybe if he did, he could desensitize himself to Jack’s affection. Maybe then, everything could go back to normal.

 

Maybe.

 

Rian came in after a while, nudging the bathroom door open when he realized that Zack hadn’t locked it behind himself. “How’re you feeling now, bud?”

 

Zack groaned.

 

“Yeah, that’s what I figured,” Rian sighed, sitting down next to the bassist on the cold tile floor. “What the fuck happened, dude?”

 

Zack looked at him with a deep frown. “How’d you do it, man?” he mumbled. “You ‘n Alex are so happy, y’know? Why is this so hard?”

 

Rian stilled.  _ Zack knew… _ “What do you mean?” he asked slowly, not sure where exactly this was going. (In his gut, he knew exactly where this was going.)

 

“I  _ know _ I’m being a bad friend,” Zack whined, leaning heavily against the drummer. “But it’s so hard. Every time he looks at me with those fuckin’... bigass doe eyes, I just wanna--  _ ugh. _ ” Zack pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don’t know why I can’t just act normally around him anymore.”

 

Rian just gently rubbed circles into his back, unsure what to say to console the half-drunk bassist.

 

“He’s jus’ so  _ pretty, _ and I like the way he hugs me, and we used to be able to banter so well, and then I fucked it up--  _ man, _ today when we went out for lunch, he-- he made a joke about me takin’ him on a  _ date _ and I just…” Zack sighed. “I froze up, man. I can’t do this.”

 

“Have you considered… telling him how you feel?” Rian asked slowly, like he was walking on thin ice.

 

“What, just walk up to him and say, ‘Hey, Jack! I’m in love with you!’?” Zack started to laugh, but instead made a choking noise. Then he was kneeling over the toilet, vomiting.

 

_ Great, _ Rian thought tiredly.  _ Just great. _

 

Zack vomited until his stomach was empty, his throat raw from the bile. He dry heaved, trying to vomit his actual stomach out. Tears ran down his cheeks from the pain of vomiting pure tequila and the pain of his stomach cramping. When he finally stopped puking, he flushed the toilet and crashed against the edge of the tub, cold sweat drenching him.

 

‘ _ Fuck, fuck fu--’ _ His ears rang, a tunnel taking over his vision.

 

“Shit, Zack? Zack!” He patted Zack’s cheek, then got up wetting a hand towel, pressing it to Zack’s cheek, but he was out cold. “Al! Can you get some water??” He called out, knowing he had left the connected door open. Alex and Jack both appeared in the bathroom door way with looks of concern. Zack’s head lolled to the side, trying to come out of his fainting spell, but the tequila had taken over his brain.

 

“Christ on a cracker, how much did he drink?” Alex asked, getting a glass of water from the bathroom sink. 

 

Jack sat on the now closed toilet and took the towel from Rian, pressing it against Zack’s neck. Rian watched the scene before him, they had all taken care of each other as they all tended to go overboard with the drinks, but he was paying attention the way Jack was looking at Zack. He wondered how many times they had done this now, since Rian and Alex had been going off on their own more often.

 

“He’ll be okay, Jack…” Alex muttered, squatting in front of Zack, starting to tap his knee, hoping some stimulus would wake him up.

 

“I know.” Jack responded, but his mind was still in doubt, wondering how much Zack had to drink to get over their little lunch mishap. How much did Zack hate him to get to this state?

 

Rian looked between the two and it clicked. His head whipped to Alex who made a face at Rian, silently telling him to keep his mouth  _ shut. _

 

“I miss talking to him,” Jack admitted, pulling the towel away from Zack. It was warm now. “I know he’s always been quiet, but… not with us, y’know?” Quieter, more to himself, he added, “Not with me.”

 

Between the three of them, they managed to get Zack into a bed. The bassist’s eyes fluttered open for a moment as he was set down, a mumbled and barely coherent apology on his lips. Rian and Alex exchanged glances, then both looked at Jack.

 

“What?” the guitarist asked, looking very confused.

 

“We’re going to stay with him tonight,” Alex answered, gesturing to the empty bed. “We’ll just share the other bed. Y’know, just in case he wakes up.”

 

Jack frowned, reaching for Alex’s arm. “I don’t wanna sleep alone,” he mumbled pathetically.

 

Rian raised an eyebrow and gestured to the empty space next to Zack.

 

“What if he pukes on me?”

 

“I think he’s done puking for tonight.”

 

Jack sighed, trying not to look too placated as he crawled into bed next to Zack’s sleeping form.


	2. Drinking

Baltimore was always a monster city to play shows in. The crowds were huge, excited, involved-- the band loved every minute of it. The only thing that could get them down was knowing that after this, there was only one show left of the Young Renegades Tour.

 

They made their way back to the green room, sweaty, elated and so proud to have a successful concert in their hometown. Even Zack was in a bit of a better mood. That was, until they were playing Dear Maria, their closing number, when Jack took a flying leap at Alex and they climbed all over each other like spider monkeys, the lights going out just as Jack had grabbed Alex’s face in a kiss that left the crowd screaming. They all knew it was fun and games, Jack had pretty much made out with them all one stage, but it still ignited jealousy in Zack’s gut. It left him anxious, irritated, and on the verge of freaking out. Jack and Alex had gone with the guitar techs to get some drinks, Rian was sitting on the couch, watching Zack pace, unable to shake off his anxieties.

 

“What the hell man, it was a great show, can’t you just sit and relax?”

 

“Doesn’t it bother you?!” He snapped, wheeling around to Rian.

 

“Does what bother me?”

 

“Jack made out with your boyfriend! In front of thousands of people!”

 

Rian raised his eyebrows a bit. “It doesn’t bother me as much as it seems to bother you.”

 

“Rian, how can you be okay with it? I mean, don’t you get jealous?”

 

“Of course I do. But Alex is  _ mine. _ I know there’s nothing deeper than Jack’s usual shenanigans, and I know I’m not at risk of losing Al. Is that what’s bothering you? Are you afraid of losing Jack?”

 

Zack froze, his mind turning stupid,  _ losing Jack, losing Jack, you’re losing Jack. _ His breath became shallow and Rian stood, going to his side.

 

“You can’t lose what you don’t have, man…” He guided the spiraling bassist to the couch. “You need to address this, or forget this. Everyone notices you’re acting different, you’re hurting Jack and yourself. Make a decision, Z. You can’t keep putting yourself in this position.”

 

“You’re right… I just…” He sighed. “I need to forget this.”

 

Rian made a face, Zack had made the wrong decision. How was he so oblivious to Jack’s feelings? The morning after Zack had drunk himself stupid, Rian and Alex had awoken to see Zack and Jack clinging to each other in their sleep for dear life. How was it that neither one of them could get their heads out of their asses long enough to just fucking  _ talk about this. _

 

A passing worker offered them water bottles, and they both accepted. Zack found a bit of relief in the quiet lull of their conversation, but as soon as the venue guy left, Rian started talking again.

 

“I’m not gonna tell you how to live your life,” Rian started slowly, very obviously about to tell Zack how to live his life, “but dude. You seriously should just talk to him about it. If you keep pushing this off, you’re going to keep pushing  _ us _ away. You two just need to sit down and talk about your feelings.”

 

Zack looked at him, almost desperately. “Rian… what if it goes horribly? We’re-- this is our  _ living _ . I can’t risk the band for my stupid feelings.”

 

“Isn’t he worth it, though?” Rian asked softly. His eyes looked somewhere far away, and suddenly Zack realized that this was how it must have been: Rian and Alex, dancing around each other with no one else noticing. Everything had mostly worked out fine for them.

 

Zack didn’t have a response to that; he simply uncapped the water bottle in his hand and chugged half of it in one go.

 

From the doorway, a very familiar voice said, “Now see, if I run and leap at Zack, he will surely catch me!”

 

“I’m holding a--” Zack groaned and dropped the still-open bottle, knowing exactly what Jack was going to to.

 

Sure enough, the guitarist was in his arms less than a second later, grinning like a kid on Christmas.

 

“You’re cleaning up the mess,” Zack sighed, looking to the floor where the other half of his water bottle had emptied onto the floor.

 

“It’s just water,” Jack laughed, tightening his grip around Zack’s neck. The guitarist turned his head to look at Alex and said, “See, I told you he’d catch me!”

 

Alex snorted and joined Rian on the couch. “I never said he wouldn’t.”

 

The exchanged lightened Zack’s mood considerably. It had been a long time since Jack had so excitedly leapt into his arms; the action brought about a wave of nostalgia and comfort. So Zack flopped down on the other end of the couch, Jack still tight in his arms. He wasn’t expecting the bony elbow to his sternum and coughed, smacking Jack on the shoulder. “Watch your elbows, Skellington!”

 

“Sorry,” Jack grinned, not sounding apologetic at all. He was elated Zack had carried him to the couch and wiggled a bit, stretching out his long legs, keeping his arms around Zack’s neck.

 

Alex shot Zack a smirk, and the bassist chose to ignore it, selfishly indulging in the moment.

 

“My God, you’re so sweaty.” Jack teased, not that he was any drier, and made no motion to move away from his position in Zack’s lap. The bassist had snaked his arms around Jack’s waist and carried on conversation with the other three, the ease of being close with Jack making him forget all his fears for the moment.

 

“Say cheese!” Jack suddenly had his phone out and was taking a selfie of them on his Snapchat. Zack pulled his usual camera-ready close-lipped grin while Jack took it with his usual excited-opened-mouth smile.

 

“Send that to me so I can post it on Facebook.” Alex said, pulling out his own phone, Rian leaning on his shoulder, glanced down at the screen, then they both smiled comfortably as Alex took a selfie of them too.

 

Zack watched them for a second, watched how easily they moved together, how perfectly they fit together just sitting on a couch. He glanced at Jack who was typing up some witty caption for his twitter and instagram. He moved without thinking and rested his head on Jack’s shoulder, who responded by reaching a hand up and lightly petting through Zack’s sweat drenched hair. Both missing how Alex’s eyes rolled so far back, he saw his brain.

 

“Dear God, why can’t they see what we all see?” Rian whispered to Alex, watching Zack and Jack cuddle each other.

 

“Because they’re stupid.” Alex replied, not keeping his voice down, earning a curious glance from Jack, who was still running his hand through Zack’s hair. Zack had closed his eyes and was ignoring the other two in the room, just taking a moment to savor this feeling.

 

“You guys want to go get some drinks or something? We’ve still got like, two hours until the van comes to take us back.”

 

“We’re trading rooms again.” Jack said, not looking up from his cellphone.

 

Rian almost couldn’t suppress his grin, squeezing the hand that was resting on Alex’s shoulder. “Fine by me. Zack snores.”

 

Zack didn’t open his eyes or look up, but he flipped off Rian in his general direction. But he was thrilled/nervous/happy to share the room with Jack again. Mostly because Rian had lectured him until he was blue in the face the last couple of nights. He’d take secret pining over one of Rian’s dad-lectures any day.

 

“One more show, guys.” Alex sighed, putting down his phone. “It’s going to be so weird…”

 

“You guys are coming to Hawaii a week after tour, that’s barely enough time to miss any of us.” Zack said, finally taking his head off of Jack’s shoulder. “Speaking of, when does your guys’ flights leave?”

 

Jack’s shoulders slumped a bit, he didn’t want to think about his three best friends leaving. He didn’t want to think about Zack leaving… being an ocean away, putting more distance between them than their already was. He looked at the bassist as he talked, wishing he could ask him to stay. But… Jack wasn’t willing to ruin this moment, this now rare occasion of physical affection they shared, so he just listened to them discuss flight details. Rian and Alex’s flights were an hour apart, his own was around the same time. Zack’s was leaving last, but had a layover in LA, so Alex and Jack said they’d hang around the airport until Zack’s plane left for the island. 

 

Zack looked at Jack, meeting his eyes, before looking back at Alex, his ears turning a bit pink. He wished he could ask Jack to come home with him. He loved Rian and Alex at his house, but… He kind of wanted some one on one time with Jack before they arrived. Zack let out a small sigh.

 

_ Just digging yourself deeper there, Merrick. _ He thought, while continuing their conversation until they all stood, deciding they wanted to find drinks until the van came. But Jack wasn’t willing to let Zack off that easy, he was determined to have more affection time with Zack, determined to keep Zack’s mood light and keep them all happy for the rest of the night. So he took another leap at Zack and clung to his back, Zack automatically wrapping his arms under Jack’s thighs, keeping him secure in his piggy back ride. Jack’s smile was blinding.

 

Maybe he had his best friend back.

 

They escaped through the back door of the venue, all four on high-alert for any lingering fans. There were a few, delighted for the opportunity to take photos with their favorite band; one girl began babbling to Rian, handing him off an envelope and almost crying. The oft-ignored drummer was flattered, and Alex kept sending him dreamy, happy looks as Rian interacted with her for a few minutes. Finally, the band escaped across the street to an artsy looking bar. Alex texted their van driver about their new location, and then the four of them copped a corner booth.

 

Rian and Zack left to the bar to get a round of drinks, giving Alex just enough time to say, “You seriously need to talk to him.”

 

“It’s been like, fifteen years,” Jack answered. “I’m not gonna--”

 

And then Rian and Zack were back with glasses and two pitchers, and the argument died on Jack’s tongue as Zack slid into the booth next to him. It didn’t even matter if they all get trashed, because the last show is in North Carolina and it was in four days. That meant party time.

 

After almost finishing the first pitcher, their corner booth suddenly got crowded with more bodies: The Wrecks and Waterparks ordered another couple rounds, and there was really too many people sitting on the cracked vinyl seats, but Jack didn’t complain when he found himself squeezed between Zack and the wall. Besides, Waterparks didn’t stay long-- their blue-haired singer doesn’t drink, and his bandmates didn’t seem too keen on getting sickeningly drunk, either. When they got up to leave, Alex shot a look at Jack, winking. Zack caught it but doesn’t feel left out-- he knew about the weird obsession that the duo has over the supposed romance between Waterparks’ singer and guitarist.

 

He definitely leaned towards the ‘yeah, they’re banging’ side of the argument.

 

Now that there was a little more breathing room, Zack shifted over a little so that he wasn’t completely pinning Jack to the wall. (Do not think about pinning Jack to the wall do not think about pinning Jack to the wall  _ do not-- _ )

 

And Jack followed him, keeping their hips touching, clacking his elbow against Zack’s as he reached for the pitcher to refill his glass.

 

Alex got a text from their bus driver saying that he’d be there in an hour, but it was Rian who read the text to the rest of them. The five guys from The Wrecks took that as their cue to head out themselves, and the group was once again down to four. Alex was practically sprawled over Rian at that point, and Zack and Jack were leaning heavily against each other.

 

“You’re so wonderful,” Alex cooed, booping Rian on the nose. “I’m gonna miss you lots when the tour is over.”

 

“Alex,” Rian warned, trying to put a little distance between them. Zack was the only one in the vicinity who knew about them, and the drummer didn’t want his boyfriend saying-- or doing-- anything he’d regret sober.

 

“He’s jus’ an affectionate drunk,” Jack grinned, waving off Rian’s concern. “Don’ worry about it. He does that to everyone…”

 

Rian sighed and looked to Zack. “Am I the only one that isn’t beyond buzzed right now?”

 

Zack just blinked at him slowly. “I’m-- ‘m not  _ drunk _ , if that’s what you’re ins-- isnu--  _ insinuating. _ ”

 

“Congrats on the big word.”

 

“I love you,” Alex slurred, pushing his face into Rian’s neck.

 

Jack pouted at that, tugging on Zack’s sleeve. “Alex loves  _ me _ too, right?”

 

“Alex loves all of us, Jack,” Rian answered. It was always so lame being the most sober one-- then again, he’d have much sharper memories of any embarrassing shenanigans that his much-drunker bandmates got into. Although he really didn’t appreciate the way Alex was pressing up against him-- he didn’t feel right having sex with a drunk guy, regardless of their boyfriend status.

 

Jack turned his wide eyes to Zack. “Do  _ you _ love me, too, Zacky?”

 

Zack’s gin bogged brain didn’t have a filter, so he smiled drunkenly at Jack. “‘Course I do, Jackie, I love ya sooo much it's not even funny.” He crossed his arms on the table, starting to struggle with keeping his eyes open. Gin was always nicer to him than tequila, but it made him warm and sleepy. Jack scooted closer and nuzzled his head against Zack’s shoulder.

 

“Zacky  _ loooooves me, I’m so luuuucky.” _ He drunk sang against his shirt.

 

“Jack, keep Zack awake until we get to the hotel, the van should be here soon.” Zack groaned in response to Rian’s instructions. Rian turned his attention to his very drunk boyfriend who was actively trying to climb into his lap, he spoke quietly, a hand on Alex’s hip keeping him in his own seat. “Al, baby, you need to chill out a bit, Jack doesn’t know, remember? And you are  _ very _ drunk.” His voice was barely a whisper, but Alex heard him and pouted a bit, staying in his seat.

 

Jack was still singing his little song about Zack loving him when Rian got the text that the van was here. He managed to get Alex up and to the van, then came back for Zack, then Jack. He held on to Jack’s waist while he paid their tab, Jack mumbling over and over about wanting to find Zack.

 

“He’s in the van, J, he’s fine, we’ll be with him in a minute.” Rian responded, waiting to get his card back from the bartender. He placated Jack while waiting, answering every time Jack asked where Zack was, only annoyed with the fact that he wasn’t drunk enough to find this as hilarious as he should. He really just wanted to get to bed at this point.

 

When they got to the hotel, Rian managed to get all of them out in one go and carefully up to the rooms. He opened his door for Alex to go inside, then helped Jack and Zack with their door. Both men were swaying, arms slung around each other for unstable support, both men were more than likely blackout drunk. Rian eased them into the room, wondering how he could help when they both managed to kick off their shoes and flop onto the bed. He sighed and went to the adjoining door and propped it open incase someone started to puke in the middle of the night so he could help. Again, sometimes being the only sober one  _ sucked _ . 

 

Rian went into his and Alex’s room, cleaned himself up for bed and went to where Alex was lying, on the verge of unconsciousness. He helped the singer out of his shoes and sweaty clothes and into some pajama pants, tucking him in. He climbed into bed beside him and pulled him close. Alex turned towards the drummer, pressing his face into his chest, slinging an arm over his waist. Rian smiled, falling asleep holding his drunk boyfriend close.

 

In the other room, in the dark, Zack sat up in his drunken state and pulled off his sweaty clothes, feeling sticky and gross. He stripped down to his boxers and managed to get under the covers. He started to fall asleep when he felt a finger poke his cheek. He opened one eye to see the silhouette of his best friend propped up and swaying a bit.

 

“Scoot, scoot.” Jack mumbled, he was kicking off his pants too, leaving himself in boxers, just as Zack had. Jack made himself comfortable under the blanket Zack was holding up for him, with his back right against his chest, sighing in content when the blanket dropped over him. Zack thought for a sober moment that he should be panicking that he was now spooning his best friend, but the gin told him to relax and go to sleep. So he put an arm over Jack and fell back to sleep.

 

Jack woke the next morning, his head throbbing, He groaned and pulled a pillow over his face to hide from the sunlight that was streaming in from the crack in the curtains. He tried to remember what happened the night before, but the last thing he could remember was Alex winking at him when Waterparks left the table. His mouth was dry and his throat burned, he started to move to get up when he was being pulled back by a strong tattooed arm that he hadn’t realized was slung over his waist.                                                                 

 

Suddenly he was  _ very _ awake, feeling a sleeping Zack press his face into his neck.

 

Jack tried to remember,  _ tried so hard to remember _ , how they ended up spooning?? Usually when he and Zack shared a bed, there was a space between them, this was the closest they had ever slept and Zack’s grip was fucking  _ iron. _ Jack felt a bit of panic bubbling up in his chest, surely he hadn’t come on to Zack?? Surely he hadn’t…. _ done _ anything to Zack??

 

His face flushed and he wiggled more trying to get out of Zack’s grip, desperate to find Rian or Alex, to have someone sober enough to tell him he didn’t cross the line we was very afraid he had. As much as his heart-and other areas- _ wanted _ to have crossed that line, he knew he and Zack had gotten trashed and hoped he was just freaking out about nothing. Zack was already acting distant, and yesterday after the show was the first time he was back to how they used to be. He wasn’t about to lose that. He wiggled enough and Zack finally let go, groaning a bit himself as he turned over to his other side, not waking up, his back now facing Jack. He scrambled up and grabbed some clothes going to take a shower.

 

He was sitting at a table alone, staring at his cup of coffee, still trying to remember the night before. Rian slid into the chair across from him and sighed, taking a sip of his orange juice.

 

“J? You okay, man?” He asked, sprinkling a little salt on a grapefruit half.

 

“Were you sober last night?” He said, his eyes snapping up to the drummer.

 

“Sober enough to take care of you three light-weights.” He responded, carving out a chunk of the fruit with a spoon.

 

“Did… Did I… “ His ears turned red. “Did I  _ do  _ anything to Zack?”

 

“I’m pretty sure you didn’t. You guys were asleep before I could even get you in the van. Why?”

 

“You can’t tell him, okay?” Rian made a motion like he was locking his lips shut. “I woke up and we were spooning and I--”

 

“Were you the big or little spoon?”

 

“ _ Rian _ ,” Jack whined, earning a chuckle from the drummer. “We were both in our boxers-which is highly unusual-- a-and I just  _ don’t want to ruin this. _ ”

 

Rian always knew Jack had some level of feelings for Zack, but he wasn’t sure how deep they ran, so he decided to poke around.

 

“What do you mean, J?”

 

Jack played with the napkin that sat next to his plate of untouched food. “You swear not to tell him?” Rian held up a pinky, and Jack looped his around. He sighed sitting back again. “I like Zack, like I  _ really like  _ Zack… and I’m afraid to tell him... “

 

“Is that why you’ve been acting weird on stage?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Well, usually you take flying leaps at Zack, and lately you’ve really been playing it up a lot more with Al.” He said simply, he wasn’t mad, he wasn’t jealous, he just wanted Zack and Jack to stop being stupid and talk about it.

 

“He’s been acting so distant and… angry lately… I’m kinda afraid he’s figured it out.”

 

“He hasn’t figured it out, Jackie.” Alex took the chair next to Rian, a big cup of coffee in his hands, he had on his pink sunglasses, looking as hungover as Jack felt. “But you  _ should _ consider talking to him.”

 

“And say what, Lex? ‘Hey, we’ve been best friends for a bajillion years, and I know you’re not gay, but I’m madly in love with you, let’s make-out?’” Jack scowled and shook his head. “No, I’m not risking it…”

 

Under the table, Rian rested his hand on Alex’s thigh, giving it a little squeeze, not looking away from Jack. “Jack, isn’t he worth the risk?”

 

“But--”

 

“Just  _ talk to him _ \--”

 

“Hey guys.” Zack sighed, coming into the dining area, he plopped down in the seat next to Jack, rubbing his forehead. Alex looked annoyed being interrupted again. “What the hell happened last night?”

 

“You made a new best friend named Gin.” Rian laughed, earning pained groans from the other three.

 

“Too loud, Ri.” Alex mumbled, taking a sip of his coffee. He let out a small giggle as Rian pinched his thigh in silent response. Jack looked at Alex confused, but just brushed it off as Alex being hungover.

 

“You’re not eating?” Zack asked Jack, glancing at his untouched food.

 

“‘M not very hungry.” Jack mumbled, trying to ignore how kind and fond Zack’s voice was to him this morning.

 

“You need to eat something, man, you were blitzed last night.” Rian said, taking a sip of orange juice.

 

Alex stood to get some food and Zack stood to get his own too. “I’ll get you some toast, that’ll be easier on your stomach than that donut.” He gave Jack a small smile before going to the buffet of breakfast food.

 

Jack groaned, hating how much he loved that Zack was taking care of him.

 

“Seriously. Talk to him, Jack.” Rian was so close to just yelling ‘do you seriously not see that he has feelings for you, too?’ But he didn’t, he could only encourage them separately to talk about it.

 

Alex was talking quietly with Zack at the toaster, waiting for Jack’s toast to pop. “You seem to be doing better with him.”

 

Zack shrugged. “It’s still hard, but Rian told me to talk about it, or ignore it. So I’m ignoring it. I’m just trying to be his friend now.”

 

Alex looked a bit incredulous. “ _ Ignore it?? _ Why the hell would you do that?”

 

“Because my feelings aren’t worth losing my best friend.”

 

“... I get that.” He sighed and put one of those single serve cups of peanut butter and jam on his plate next to his toasted english muffin. He paused for a second before heading back to the table. “But you could get everything you’ve been wanting.” He walked away for Zack to ponder on his words.

 

His gaze was unfocused as he stared at the toaster, flashes of his life with All Time Low, flashes of his favorite moments with Jack, his favorite person, racing through his brain. A soft smile graced his face, thinking of how many times he and Jack had hung all over each other, thinking of how many times Jack had interlaced their hands together during interviews and photo shoots. Everything was fun, everything was easy, everything was…  _ better  _ with Jack. Zack was sure everything is platonic but… Maybe Alex was right, maybe he  _ could _ get everything he ever wanted…

 

The toaster dinged, Zack took the toast and some butter to the hungover guitarist who thanked him without looking at him. Zack took his seat next to Jack, taking a sip of his own hot coffee.

 

Ignore it, act normal, ignore it.

 

“So, our flight to North Carolina leaves tomorrow, so we have an extra day. What do you guys want to do?” Zack asked, cutting up an apple into slices, offering a slice to Jack who took it with another thanks.

 

Rian quickly tried to think of something boring that neither Zack or Jack would be interested in so he could a.) spend the day alone with Alex, and b.) make these two idiots spend more time together.

 

“Al and I are going on a museum tour.” He said, hoping that wouldn’t peak anyone else’s interest. Alex looked at Rian confused, Rian pinched his thigh again.

 

“Oh, yeah! You guys want to come? It’s this really cool museum about the architecture of the first settlers of Baltimore.”

 

“Ugh--”

 

“Boring!”

 

Zack and Jack declined the invite. Alex tilted his head, giving them an oh-so innocently curious look. “What are you going to do on this hot summer day then?”

 

Jack pursed his lips thinking, then looked at Zack. “Beach?”

 

Zack nodded, smiling a bit. “Beach.”

 

Jack smiled wide, looking back at the other two. “Beach!”

 

Alex and Rian exchanged grins as they continued to eat.

 

The group went back up to the hotel together, packing almost everything. They’d be headed to North Carolina for the last show date later in the early evening-- it was an 11 hour drive, which they would hopefully get through non-stop (save for gas stations and drive-throughs) so that they could sleep a bit during the morning before soundcheck started.

 

In their own hotel room, Rian and Alex sat on their phones, trying to figure out something to do for the day.

 

“I mean, we really could go to an art museum or something,” Rian suggested, glancing over at his boyfriend. “That would be a good date, yeah?”

 

Alex hummed. “I’ll look into museums in the area.”

 

Through the wall, they heard a loud  _ BANG! _ and peals of laughter.

 

“Glad they’re ignoring their issues,” Alex snorted. Then his whole face lit up as he read something on his phone. “Massachusetts Air and Space Museum!”

 

Rian smiled. Of course his space-loving singer found something like that. “Sounds wonderful, babe.”

 

Alex got up and knocked on the connecting door. “We’re leaving!” he shouted through the wood. “Have fun at the beach! Wear sunscreen!”

 

“Okay,  _ Mom!” _ Jack yelled back.

 

“Are you guys okay, though?” Alex asked. “It sounded like something hit the wall.”

 

Zack opened the door, grinning. “Jack fell while trying to get his trunks on.”

 

“I’m okay!” Jack called from behind the bassist. “It was just my funny bone. Totally don’t feel like I’m dying or anything right now. Definitely didn’t lose feeling in my entire hand. Just keep laughing at my pain, that’s fine.”

 

“Do you want me to kiss it better?” Alex joked. “Since you’re calling me ‘Mom’ now and everything.”

 

He couldn’t see Jack, but Alex could vividly imagine the pout on the guitarist’s face when he grumbled, “No… I’m fine…”

 

Zack shot a fond look over his shoulder. “He’s fine.”

 

“Okay, well, have fun at the beach!” Alex smiled.

 

“Enjoy your boring  _ museum _ trip!” Jack scoffed as Zack closed the joined door.

 

“Our Uber’s gonna be here in, like, 5, did you pack your sunscreen? ‘Cause mom will yell at me, you  _ are _ paler than me.” Jack grinned, rubbing his still sore elbow.

 

“I live in Hawaii, I pretty much am immune to the sun now.” He joked back, checking their little beach bag for the lotion.

 

“Not true! And I wouldn’t want those pretty tattoos to get faded. They suit you well being brightly colored and all.”

 

Zack looked at him as Jack shuffled through his laundry to find a t-shirt he wouldn’t mind getting sandy. “Well what about you? Gotta keep your Skellington brightly colored too, right?”

 

Jack shot him a grin. “If you’re so concerned, I’ll let you put the sunblock on it.”

 

Zack’s ears went red but he just let out a laugh he hoped didn’t sound too strangled.

 

“Oooooh, there’s supposed to be this really cool sand bar thing at this beach we’re going to, want to hit it?”

 

Zack looked at him like he had two heads now. “We drank an entire bottle of gin last night, you want to keep going??”

 

“A beer would help the hangover.” Jack pointed out.

 

“So will water and sunshine, you goof.” He butted his fist against Jack’s shoulders and they made their way out of the room to the lobby where their car was waiting.

 

The ride to the beach was about 20 minutes of silence, Zack uncomfortable holding a conversation with a stranger, and Jack not seeming to be interested in talking either. Little did Zack know, Jack was too focused on how their thighs were pressed together in the back seat of this small car. He kept thinking about the interview where Zack had been very interested in his leg, measuring his hand against Jack’s thinner thigh, grabbing it and squeezing it repeatedly until he got bored and just left his hand there. It was one of the harder tests on Jack’s self control.

 

When they reached the shimmering ocean and white sand, Jack darted out of the Uber barely before it had stopped, too excited to get to the water and run around like a madman. Zack chuckled and grabbed their bag, thanking their uber driver and following the guitarist who was actively trying to pull off his shirt and find a place to set down their towels.

 

“The sand is so soft!” He shouted at Zack who was several paces behind.

 

“Should have brought you a bucket and shovel so you can build a sand castle.” He teased, finally catching up and setting down their bag.

 

Jack gasped, and looked very excited. “Bury me in the sand!!!”

 

Zack rolled his eyes with a smile and pulled out their sunscreen. “Yeah, okay, but I want to swim first.”

 

He sprayed down his arms with ease, rubbing the sunscreen into his skin, then sprayed his legs and chest as well. Then he passed the bottle to Jack, who just blinked at him for a moment.

 

“Get my back, dude,” Zack laughed awkwardly.

 

“Oh-- duh, yeah, sorry, zoned out.” Jack flushed bright red, but thankfully Zack had turned around.

 

Zack bit his bottom lip to keep from making any noise as he felt Jack’s hands rub in the sunscreen he had sprayed across Zack’s muscular back. In return, Jack was trying not to focus too hard on how fucking _beautiful_ Zack’s upper body was. When he was done- trying to make sure he didn’t linger- he put the lotion on himself, and started to struggled trying to spray his own back at an angle.

 

“What are you doing? Give it here, weirdo.” Zack said after watching Jack struggle for a moment. He made the guitarist turn and sprayed his tan shoulders and back before tossing the bottle down and rubbing it in with his hands. He was too focused on not being focused on the feeling to notice that Jack’s neck and ears had turned a deep shade of red. He let go of Jack’s back when he was done and quickly busied himself with laying out their towels. Jack plopped down on his, waiting for his sunscreen to set, Zack following suit and spread out on his own towel.

 

“Can’t believe Ri and Lex skipped out on beach day to go to a boring museum about old buildings.” Jack snorted, playing with the sand.

 

“I can,” Zack mumbled, leaning back, letting the warm sun wash over him.

 

“What’d you say?” Jack said not having heard him.

 

“I said I can’t either.” He smiled just a bit.

 

“.... let me bury you in the sand!” Jack said, grinning ear to ear. Zack looked at him, that adorable grin melting his insides.

 

“Later after some swimming.”

 

“Why not before?? That way you can rinse off in the water!” Jack said pouting a bit.

 

“Didn’t you want me to bury you in the sand?”

 

“Well, yeah, but--”

 

Zack sat up chuckling, “I’ll buy you a drink if I don’t have to be buried,” He stood and looked down at Jack who squinted back up at him. “Want to come?” He gestured towards the water that was waiting to cool them off on a the hot summer day. Jack said he’d join him later and wanted to sunbathe for a bit longer, so Zack made his way to the water's edge, letting the incoming waves flush over his feet, drawing him into the cool salt water. He dove in, his thoughts with Jack on the beach. He swam out a ways until he found a shallow sand bar and floated around over it, wondering if Rian and Alex were having a grand old time at the museum.  


\---  


“Ri, look!” He tugged his boyfriend over, their hands laced together, to the massive piece of machinery that was on display. Alex looked at it in awe, then read the little information plate and his face fell.

 

“What is it?” Rian asked, more interested in watching his boyfriend enjoy the museum than the actual items on display. Alex always had the best reactions.

 

“It’s a part of the wreckage they fished out of the ocean after the _Challenger_ disaster in 1986.” Alex looked at the hunk of extremely expensive metal and Rian could see Alex hurting for the seven lives lost that day almost 32 years ago. He pulled him close, kissed his temple, wrapping an arm around his shoulder.

 

“I love how deeply you feel.” Rian mumbled quietly, Alex rested his head on Rian’s shoulder, looking at the wreckage. He didn’t want this to weigh on Al for the rest of the day, so after a minute more of admiring the piece, he moved them onto another display.

 

They spent the day looking at the impressive displays of science and machinery, Alex excitedly explaining everything that Rian might’ve had questions about. They ended the tour a few hours later in the gift shop, Alex admiring a NASA shirt and a cool mug that changed when you poured hot liquid in it. He looked at Rian and smiled, walking back to him.

 

“Ready to go? I’m getting hungry.” Alex straightened Rian’s jacket a bit, like he always did when they stood close together.

 

“Do you want that shirt, baby?” He asked, wondering why Alex hadn’t picked it out to buy.

 

“I don’t need another NASA shirt, I’ve got, like, three different ones.”

 

“Yeah, but that one glows in the dark.” Rian said, nodding to the display sticker that said so.

 

Alex laughed and patted Rian’s chest. “No, no, I don’t need another NASA shirt.”

  
Rian rolled his eyes, went to the display, picked up a shirt that he knew was Alex’s size and went to the register, pulling out his wallet.

 

“Rian!” Alex said, catching up with him, wide-eyed. “Ri, you shouldn’t buy that for me, I can buy it for myself!” He pouted a bit, flushing pink at the fact that his boyfriend was buying him an overpriced shirt from the museum gift shop.

 

“Then it wouldn’t be a gift.” He flashed that brilliant perfect smile to Alex who turned even pinker. Rian finished his purchase, passing the bag to Alex, who mumbled a shy thank you. Rian smiled and kissed his forehead. “You’re more than welcome, Lexi. Now you were saying something about food? It’s not quite dinner time, do you want to get ice cream or something?”

 

“Yeah!” Alex said, his face lighting up. They left the museum, not holding hands much to Alex’s disappointment, but they were always hyper aware that people could snap pictures of them at any moment. Alex used his Maps app and they found an old-fashioned creamery near enough they could walk to it. Alex and Rian chatted idly, both men itching to touch again, but words were a good cushion. Alex was so happy when he was with Rian, he could put up with an hour or so of touchless time.

 

“Um…” Rian tapped his chin, looking at the assortment of ice cream flavors written on the chalkboard. “A scoop of tiramisu in a bowl for me, and a scoop of raspberry and a scoop of mocha in the same bowl for him.” Rian ordered their ice cream, knowing Alex well enough, he didn’t even have to ask what he wanted. Alex loved him for that. They took their frozen treats and sat at a table by a big window in the corner.

 

“Want to take a picture? I’ll post it after we leave so we don’t get attacked.” Alex laughed a bit, pulling his phone out of his jeans pocket. Rian took the phone and turned around smiling wide, Alex making his excited/happy ‘:o’ face that he regularly sported in his snapchat and instagram. After a picture to appease the fans later, they tucked their phones away to focus on each other. Their knees knocked and Alex gazed dreamily at his boyfriend

 

“This has been a wonderful date, Ri, thank you for taking me.”

 

Rian smiled fondly in response, setting his hand on the table close enough to have the tips of their fingers touch. “It was really for my benefit, babe, your reactions to things are something I could watch for days on end.”

 

Alex sighed softly, his small crooked smile that Rian desperately loved graced his face. “I love you.”

 

Rian smiled his brilliant smile, his ears turning red. “I love you too, Lex.” His urge to kiss his boyfriend suppressed by their being in public, so he settled for lightly petting the tips of Alex’s fingers.

 

“I still can’t believe I told you I’ve been in love with you by _accident_ .” Alex chuckled, taking a lick of ice cream off his spoon. “And I can’t believe it fuckin’ _worked._ ” He grinned, holding the spoon between his teeth. Rian grinned back, eating a scoop of his own ice cream.

 

“It wasn’t hard to get it to work, I’ve been in love with _you_ pretty much as long as Jack’s been in love with Zack.”

 

Alex flushed pink, smiling into his little bowl of ice cream. Rian liked making his boyfriend blush, it wasn’t hard, especially when they were alone, especially when Rian used a special voice on him, freezing Alex in his place, wherever they may be. He grinned, remembering using it once on him right before a show, and he could still see it in his mind how Alex had to avoid looking at him for the rest of the night.

 

Rian tapped on Alex’s finger a bit. Alex looked back up at him, another spoonful of ice cream on its way to his mouth. “Finish up, baby. We’ve got some time before Zack and Jack get back to the hotel. I plan on wearing you _out_.” Alex’s eyes went wide, a deep red rushing to fill his face, making Rian cackle, which made Alex pout and kick his foot.

 

“That’s not funny!”

 

“But it’s so easy to make you blush!”

 

“You’re such a tease.” Alex huffed, returning to his frozen snack, the blush settling high on his cheeks and ears.

 

“I can’t help but laugh when you blush, it’s just too adorable. By the way, I never said I was teasing.” He smirked at Alex, who, yes, blushed again, but was suddenly eager to finish his ice cream and get an uber back to their hotel.

 

\--

 

Zack yawned, not opening his eyes, his body feeling cool and warm at the same time. He stirred trying to move as the sounds of the beach woke him up, but he found his arms and legs weighed down to his side.

 

“What the fuck?” He groaned, lifting up his head and squinting down his body to see he was completely buried in the sand.

 

“Hey there, sleepy head!” Said a voice with a familiar mischievous tone to it.

 

“Jack--” He whined, realizing his friend had buried him while he napped on the beach. “My towel’s gonna be all sandy now.” He frowned up at his best friend who was sitting crisscross, right in front of his face.

 

“Nope, you rolled over at one point so I stole it from you.” He reached over and picked up the still clean towel.

 

“I’m gonna throw you in the water once I escape.”

 

Jack grinned. “You’ll have to catch me first.”

 

Zack cracked a smile, letting out a laugh. “You know I can run circles around you.”

 

Jack adjusted, lying on his stomach, resting his chin on his arms to be eye level with Zack. He always loved Zack’s laugh, it made him warm and it sounded like home. So naturally, he wanted to be closer to him.

 

“How did you get sand in your hair?” Zack asked, noticing the white speckles dusting Jack’s black and blue hair. He wasn’t struggling to escape yet, he rather enjoyed the cool sand against his sun warmed skin.

 

“I had to bury you quickly, even though you’re a heavy sleepier, I thought you might wake up.” He smiled, his tongue sticking out between his teeth.

 

“Did you bury me like a dog digs in the sand?” Zack laughed, that was the only scenario that he could think of that would get sand in Jack’s hair.

 

“More or less.” He grinned still, reaching over and fluffing Zack’s hair, getting some sand out. Zack tried to keep himself steady, but he leaned his unburied head into Jack’s hand a bit. Jack grinned more. “If I knew just burying you would get your affection back, I’d’ve done it a long time ago.” He kept carding his hand through Zack’s sandy and damp hair. “I’m gonna miss you when you go home, man. Alex doesn’t let me bury him on the LA beaches.”

 

“Well, they are pretty nasty beaches.” Zack smiled, trying to keep to himself just how much he was going to miss Jack. “But you know, if you want to have someone to bury on a clean beach, you can come to Hawaii a few days early and we’ll chill out on the sand bar out by my house.”

 

 _Subtle, Merrick_.

 

But Jack’s smile was blinding. “Deal! I’ll change my flight when we get back to the hotel. How early should I come?”

 

Zack heard the words spilling out before he could stop himself. “You can just come home with me when we go to the airport.” His face flushed red, and he hoped he was sunburned enough to pass it off as sun heat. Jack’s heart fluttered a bit and he pressed his smile into his arm.

 

“Sounds like a plan, but you’ll have to let me borrow your washer and dryer.”

 

“Well, duh, what’s mine is yours, dummy.” Zack was starting to get chilly, so he grinned at Jack before hulking out of the sand, sending Jack screaming to his feet and darting away. Zack, sand dusting off him like a cloud, went darting after him, both too giddy to realize all the tourists around them were watching these two grown men chase each other. Zack caught Jack around the waist, maybe not 10 yards from their towels and umbrella. Jack yelped as he was easily lifted into the air, and carried to the water, Zack running and laughing like a mad man into the waves, until they were deep enough that a swell crashed into them, pulling them underwater.

 

“You dick!” Jack laughed when they resurfaced, Zack clean of sand, Jack’s blue and black hair plastered to his head.

 

Zack had let go of Jack under the water to let him swim freely, but they still were close enough that Zack could feel the water move around as Jack kicked his legs to stay afloat. He grinned at Jack.

 

“That’s what you get for burying me and getting sand in my hair.”

 

Jack splashed a bit of water at Zack who responded in the same manner. Jack couldn’t help but be thankful his best friend was back. He couldn’t help but smile brilliantly when Zack teased him back. Whatever had plagued his best friend seemed to be gone.

 

They swam around for a little while before going back to their towels, laughing when they saw the giant trench of sand from where Zack had previously been buried. Sinking down onto his towel, Jack looked at Zack, appreciating the small smile that hadn’t faded from the bassist’s face. He thought about having Zack to himself for a week.

 

The thought made him _unbelievably_ happy.

 

He loved having Rian and Alex around, they were so important in his life, but until he could get over this crush on Zack (which was unlikely, as it’s been nearly 15 years), he would gladly, selfishly, indulge in having him all to himself for a week.

 

Jack suddenly couldn’t wait for tour to be over.


	3. Flying

A long road trip, a hot sweaty venue and another pair of hotel rooms later, Jack was bouncing on the balls of his feet. Tour was officially over, and he had just told Alex about his plans while they packed up for the last time.

 

“You’re  _ what?” _ Alex gasped quietly, glancing around to make sure no one else was listening. The connecting door was open between hotel rooms as Zack and Rian had started taking suitcases down to the van. The trailer was already mostly loaded with their gear. Flying with instruments as baggage was probably one of the most hectic parts of starting and ending a tour.

 

Jack grinned. “Yeah, I’m going out to Hawaii with Zack. Flight wasn’t full, so I got a last-minute transfer. You and Rian are still leaving around the same time as us, right?”

 

“Yeah,” Alex sighed. “Rian leaves an hour before me, and you and Zack will be stuck at the airport for a little longer after that. But I’ll hang out with you guys during your layover in LA.” With another glance around the room, Alex added in a softer tone, “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

 

“Alex. It’s been, like, 15 years. What’s another week?”

 

Alex didn’t like the forced smile that Jack gave him with those words, but it wasn’t his place to interfere. “I guess you’re right.”

 

Rian knocked on the door frame, leaning against it. “Anything else left?”

 

Jack pulled the zipper of his backpack closed and hauled it onto his shoulder. “Ready to go!”

 

“Yeah,” Alex mumbled sadly, shooting Rian a subtle glance. “I guess I’m ready.”

 

“Don’t be sad that tour is over!” Jack said, throwing his arm around Alex’s shoulders. “We’ll all be together again in a week! Hawaii, baby!”

 

“Did he tell you he’s going with Zack?” Rian asked as Jack bounded towards the elevator.

 

“I was literally about to ask you the same thing,” Alex laughed.

 

The drive to RDU didn’t take long. The van was quiet for once; all four band members were tired from weeks on tour, ready to have some relaxation. Alex tucked his head onto Rian’s shoulder, making it look like a natural move instead of driven by how much he knew he’d miss his secret boyfriend now that they would be living in different states.

 

After getting through baggage checks, the quad found Rian’s terminal first. The flight to Nashville was only a little over an hour; unfortunately, that meant that for the hour Rian was in the air, he wouldn’t be able to text them, and by the time he landed, Alex would be on the 6-hour flight to LAX. That was the longest they’d be out of contact since the tour started-- not that Alex was trying to be clingy or anything… but who could blame him for missing his boyfriend?

 

A small queue was forming in front of the terminal already, so Rian got in line, waving to his bandmates. “I’ll see you guys in Hawaii in a few!” he called, grinning. “Time’ll fly.”

 

“See you then, Rian!” Zack waved.

 

“Bye, Ri!” Jack wailed, clinging to Zack’s arm and faking deep, shuddering sobs. “What will I do without you to take care of me!”

 

Alex worried his lip between his teeth, knuckles turning white from his grip on his carry-on. Rian met his gaze with a small, sad smile and another wave.

 

“Ahh, fuck it,” Alex groaned, dropping his backpack and rushing forward.

 

“Alex--?!” Zack called, but the singer was already gone, beelining for Rian.

 

Alex nearly collided with him, but Rian caught him just in time, arms firm around Alex’s waist.

 

“What are you--?”

 

But then Alex was kissing him, his fingers digging into Rian’s jaw as he held Rian’s face. Rian closed his eyes and pulled Alex closer, leaning into the kiss.

 

“I miss you already,” Alex whispered against his mouth.

 

All Rian could think to do was kiss him again, so that’s what he did.

 

A few feet away, Zack wolf-whistled while Jack stared at them, jaw hanging open.

 

“They-- wh-- since when?!” Jack sputtered. “Alex never-- he would’ve--  _ said _ something--!”

 

When Zack just laughed, Jack turned to him with wide-eyes, a betrayed expression obvious on his face. “You-- you  _ knew?! _ And you never  _ said _ anything?!”

 

“I figured it out on my own,” Zack answered evasively. “Recently, I swear!” He tacked on, when Jack’s expression edged on angry. “Oh come on, Jackie, you have to had known there was something between them.”

 

Jack thought on it, watching Alex press his face into Rian’s shoulder as they had one last final hug before Rian’s boarding number was called.

 

“Why didn’t he just tell me, though?”

 

“Hey, it’s okay, they didn’t tell me either. I…” he paused for half a beat. “I pretty much guessed one morning at breakfast, dragging it out of Alex. They weren’t ready to tell me either.”

 

But that didn’t stop Jack from pouting at Alex when the singer came back to them. His pouting stopped though when he saw Alex’s eyes were teary and nose was pink.

 

“Al, you’re gonna see him in 5 days, it’s not that long.” Zack said, trying to be helpful.

 

“It  _ is _ long, Z… I’m gonna miss him like crazy.”

 

The three of them stood by the window, watching Rian’s plane pull out and take off. Alex sighed and they made their way to their gate. Zack glanced at Jack who was starting to fret over Alex, trying to cheer him up. Zack suddenly felt bad for saying 5 days wasn’t that long. If he had to be away from Jack for 5 days, he’d go crazy.

 

And Jack wasn’t even his boyfriend.

 

“So… how long?” Jack asked when they reached their gate, just in time as the queue was starting to form. It was an hour before take off, but this was a full flight back to LA. Alex was very interested in his boarding pass. Zack set a hand on Jack’s shoulder.

 

“Let’s save the questions for later, okay J?” Jack was going to protest when he heard his other best friend sniffle quietly, looked over and saw him crying.

 

“Oh… okay…” Jack put an arm around Alex’s shoulder, letting the singer rest his head against his shoulder. “It’s okay, Al, when we get to LA, I’m sure you’ll have a hundred texts from him. I bet Rian is just that kind of boyfriend.” He teased lightly, it worked, pulling a soft chuckle out of Alex. “Hey, by the time you get all your laundry done and repacked, 5 days will have gone by, and we’ll all be in Hawaii together again!” Jack teased again, knowing Alex was a master procrastinator when it came to doing laundry.

 

“Easy for you to say, J, you’ll be with your boyfriend the entire time.” Alex mumbled, but regretted it immediately, he didn’t mean to be a dick to Jack, he was just sad to be away from Rian. Jack’s face flushed, glanced to where Zack was, but sighed in relief when he saw Zack had walked a little away to look at the screen that listed all the outgoing flights. “‘M sorry…” Alex muttered again, curling into Jack’s side.

 

“It’s okay, Lex, I know you’re upset.” Jack said, rubbing his shoulder.

 

“Looks like Ri’s flight will land just as we’re over Kansas, we’ll get you the wifi package so you can message him.” Zack said, smiling as he walked back to them.

 

“I’m not  _ that _ clingy,” Alex tried to convince them unsuccessfully.

 

“Then  _ I’ll _ get the package and let you use it. I gotta check on my neopets during the flight.” Jack teased, grinning at Alex. Zack chuckled, standing next to Jack. The guitarist smiled at the bassist, wondering what kind of boyfriend Zack is. Would he message his partner a hundred times when they were apart too? Would he get emotional when they had to go their own ways at airports? Jack pondered on this, when the answer had already been given to him. 

 

Zack would take his partner home with him, not able to stand being away from them for more than a day.

 

30 minutes later, they were sitting on their plane. Jack and Alex sharing one side of the isle, Zack sitting on the other. He kept glancing at Jack, their eyes meeting often. He would smile lightly, then look away. Zack had wondered what kind of boyfriend Jack would be, too. But he can see from how he cares for Alex, he would be an emotional mess too. Zack looked out the plane window as they waited for the flight to be filled. He hoped that no matter who was lucky enough to get Jack in their life, would always take care of him and not leave him crying in an airport. He could only forgive Rian for leaving Alex in such a state, because he knew Ri had animals at home, and couldn’t dawdle another day while they waited for him. Zack glanced back at Jack, who was looking at the flight’s drink menu. 

 

Oh, how he wished he was the one that would end up in Jack’s life.

 

_ Here we go again. _ He sighed, leaning his head back, putting in his headphones, his pining for his friend had returned, and seemed to be staying. No matter how much he tried to ignore it. He sighed and closed his eyes, the sound of music lulling him to sleep even before the plane took off.

 

Jack smiled, pulled out his phone and snapped a picture of Zack’s sleeping face. Alex chuckled next to him.

 

“You’ll be getting a lot of those in Hawaii, I bet.”

 

Jack snorted. “What, do you expect us to share a room at his house too?”

 

“You do hate sleeping alone, J.” Alex said, running his thumb around the edge of his phone. He knew it was pointless to wait for a text, but he couldn’t help but want one.

 

“He’s warming back up to me, I will not be doing anything to make him push me away again.”

 

Alex frowned a bit. “Jack, do you think being the affectionate person you are made him push you away?” Jack shrugged, fiddling with his jacket. “J, that’s ridiculous.” He bit his tongue, wanting to spill everything, but this wasn’t high school, and he didn’t want to force these two together before they were ready.

 

“Look at it from the outside, Al, the sleeping in the same bed, constantly flirting, hanging on him during shows, that’s all  _ me _ . I bet he’s sick of it, I mean, he’s not gay--” Alex had to stifle a loud laugh. “--and I know I can be clingy... But he’s open with me again, you should have seen him at the beach, I haven’t seen him smile like that in weeks.”

 

“Jack… do you think…” Alex paused, wondering if he should continue, but he did anyway. “Don’t you think he was smiling like that because he was with  _ you?” _

 

“He was smiling because he was in the ocean, you know how much he loves the beach.”

 

Alex’s eyes rolled so far back, he could read his own thoughts, a loud annoyed sigh left his throat.

 

“What?” Jack said, frowning.

 

“Nothing, nothing.” Alex said, sighing again, looking down at his phone. ‘ _ You two are just too stupid for your own good.’ _

 

Jack looked at the picture he had taken, his made his chest warm, so he looked over at Zack who was still sleeping, but his head was tucked a bit awkwardly against the airplane headrest. He worried at his lip and glanced at Alex who was watching.

 

“His neck is gonna hurt when he wakes up.” Alex balled up his sweatshirt and tucked it between his neck and the window, smirking a bit at Jack. “I’m gonna take a nap, do as you please.”

 

With that, Jack stood, managed to slip between the people still filing on the plane. He climbed over Zack without waking him, and sat in the vacant seat beside him. He would have to wait, but the plane would take off soon.

 

15 minutes later, they were in the air and the seatbelt sign pinged off after the captain’s announcements. Jack lifted the armrest that separated him and the sleeping bassist. Zack stirred a bit, which allowed Jack to gently guide him into his side, Zack rested his head against Jack’s shoulder, sighing comfortably. Jack rested his cheek against Zack’s hair, smiling lightly. This was usually how they sat on planes- Rian and Alex in one row, Jack and Zack in the next- but he hoped that Zack wouldn’t get weirded out that he had moved to sit with him. Zack followed the warmth, his sleeping self scooting closer and curling a bit into Jack’s side, well, as much as the cramped airplane seats would allow him. Soon, Jack was comfortably asleep too.

 

Alex was having some troubles sleeping through the flight, he just missed Rian. He couldn’t take it much more, and purchased the overpriced inflight wifi package, hoping to maybe watch some netflix, but really it was to get access to the wifi enabled message app, his phone buzzed a few times the moment it connected to the wifi.

 

‘ _ I miss you, we’ve only been apart for an half an hour and I miss you like a fuckin’ teenager away at summer camp.’  _ Received at 3:44pm.

 

_ ‘I can’t express how deliriously happy I was that you kissed me goodbye.’  _ Received at 3:44pm

 

_ ‘You’ll have to tell me how Jack handled it, his face was priceless. ;P ‘  _ Received at 3:44pm.

 

‘ _ Call me when you land, I love you.’ _ Received at 3:44pm.

 

‘ _ They’re playing Harry Potter on this flight and I’m going to need you to be here right now with some blankets and popcorn, please.’  _ Received at 3:44pm.

 

Alex’s face ached from how wide he was smiling. God, he loved his dorkass boyfriend.

 

‘ _ I miss you too. I will for sure call you and tell you about Jack’s reaction. Which Harry Potter movie?’  _ Sent at 3:47pm

 

‘ _ Baby!’  _ Received at 3:47pm. Alex’s smile widened at the simple message back.

 

‘ _ Prisoner of Azkaban, the best one, of course. Are you on the flight wifi?’  _ Received at 3:47pm.

 

‘ _ The best one indeed. Yeah, I am. I wanted to watch some Netflix, that’s the only reason.’ _ Sent at 3:48pm. He grinned, teasing his boyfriend.

 

‘ _ Oh I see how it is, Netflix trumps me now, huh? :p’  _ Received at 3:48pm. Alex loved Rian’s refusal to use actual emojis, it was his favorite part of the way Rian texted him.

 

‘ _ I mean, I haven’t been able to finish The Office because you are VERY distracting.’ _ Sent at 3:49pm. Alex pressed his face into his sweater to stifle a giggle.

 

His phone buzzed with a Snapchat notification. He opened it to find a picture of his boyfriend in his airplane chair, winking, grinning wide, tongue poking out a bit between his white teeth. The caption read:  _ Hope I’m not distracting you, beautiful. _ It made butterflies erupt in his stomach and another giggle escape his throat. Alex took a selfie with the smile that seemed to be permanent on his face right now. His caption read:  _ You are a wonderful distraction. _

 

They continued like this for a little while until Rian started messaging him instead, asking how the flight was, how Jack and Zack were doing, to which Alex responded with a picture of the two sleeping in the row next to him.

 

‘ _ Good Lord, they are gross.’  _ Received at 4:05pm.

 

‘ _ Jack doesn’t believe that Z was happy at the beach because of him. He thinks it was just because of the ocean.’  _ Sent at 4:05pm.

 

‘ _ Did you say something about it?’ _ Received at 4:05pm.

 

‘ _ I HEAVILY implied that it was because Jack was with him. J didn’t believe it. Then he went on about how Z wasn’t gay and blah blah blah.’ _ Sent at 4:06pm

 

‘ _ Hahahaha oh, Jack. It’s a good thing he’s pretty.’ _ Received at 4:06pm.

 

Alex giggled into his sweater again. ‘ _ Five days without you. That’s gonna suck so hard.’ _ Sent at 4:07pm.

 

‘ _ Not as bad as you think.’ _ Received at 4:10pm.

 

Alex tilted his head, and was about to respond before Rian messaged him again. 

 

‘ _ Starting the descent into Nashville, gotta go baby. Take a nap, call me when you land. I love you.’  _ Received at 4:10pm.

 

He smiled softly. ‘ _ I love you too.’  _ Sent at 4:10pm. He sighed and leaned into the sweater on his neck, sleep taking over him as they continued the long flight to LA.

 

An hour before descent, Zack finally woke up. He sat up and stretched before looking at what he had been sleeping against. Surprised, he found Jack zonked out in the seat next to him. He looked over to see Alex asleep and alone in the row across the way and wondered when Jack had made the switch. He rubbed his stubble and smiled softly.

 

Fuck, he couldn’t wait to have Jack to himself for a week.

 

Some scenarios ran through his head as he began to wonder when/if/how he could begin telling Jack… everything. He worried at his lip and looked at Jack again. Rian and Al were right, he  _ is _ worth it, but he still worried about ruining their friendship.

 

Zack bought his own wifi package for the last hour of the flight and when connected, started texting Rian.

 

‘How did you tell Alex you were into him?’ Sent at 8:45pm.

 

‘I didn’t, Al told me.’ Received at 8:50pm.

 

‘How did you react?’ Sent at 8:51pm. Zack’s heart jumped with a bit of anxiety as Jack stirred next to him but stayed asleep.

 

‘Well, he started rambling, trying to cover up the fact that he had just told me he was in love with me, so I did the cliche thing and kissed him to shut him up.’ Received at 8:52pm.

 

Zack smiled lightly, glancing at Jack again. ‘Oh God, what am I about to do?’ He thought, leaning his head back against the chair. His phone buzzed in his hand.

 

‘Don’t worry, Z. Just be honest with him, and it’ll be alright.’ Received at 8:58pm.

 

Maybe. Hopefully.

 

An hour later, Zack was shaking Jack awake.

 

“Five more minutes.” Jack mumbled, not opening his eyes.

 

“No, not five more minutes, we’ve gotta get on our next flight.” Zack chuckled. Alex was already turning his phone back on and held it to his ear as he called Rian.

 

“Hawaaaaaaiiiiiiii here we come!” Jack sang, yawning and stretching.

 

Zack was standing in the aisle, checking his phone when he let out an annoyed ‘tsk’. “Our flight is leaving early, we’re going to have to run to catch it.”

 

Jack looked tiredly up at him. “You’re gonna make me exercise this late at night?? How dare you, sir.”

 

Zack cracked a smile in response, looking fondly over Jack’s sleep tousled hair and the sleepy expression on his face. More than anything, he’d like to stay in the seat and cuddle with him, letting him fall back asleep. But their flight was on the other side of the airport and they would have to fuckin’ book it to make it.

 

“Al, our flight is leaving early, so we’re not gonna be able to hang out.”

“That’s dumb.” Alex said, then relaying the information to his boyfriend over the phone.

 

Together, they rushed to the next terminal for Zack and Jack’s flight to Hawaii; after waving them off, Alex went to get his own luggage and called an Uber. Despite being sad about being alone for a few days, Alex was definitely excited to pick up his four-legged babies from their babysitter. He dropped off his luggage at home and immediately hopped back into his own car to head to the caretaker’s place.

 

He immediately sent off several Snapchats of them as soon as the two dogs were in his car.

 

Zack opened them on the plane, having bought the WiFi package, and showed them to Jack. The guitarist smiled sleepily, still drowsy from the first flight. “We should get a dog,” he mumbled, head falling back onto Zack’s shoulder. “Zack, will you get a dog with me?”

 

“We live across the ocean from each other, Jack.”

 

“Joint custody,” Jack mumbled, drifting off again.

 

Zack browsed Twitter for a while before pulling up Netflix, settling in to watch The Office with subtitles for a while.

 

About halfway through the flight, the pilot comm’ed the cabin to inform the passengers that there would be slight turbulence. Zack ignored it, used to the flights over the Pacific. However, when the plane rocked noticeably for the first time, Jack jolted awake, fingernails digging into Zack’s wrist.

 

“Just some turbulence,” Zack soothed, pulse jumping at the way Jack clung to him.

 

Jack grumbled, loosening his grip and then slipping his fingers down until they were tangled with Zack’s. “Hate turbulence. Feels like we’re gonna die.”

 

“It won’t last long,” Zack said, squeezing Jack’s hand. “I take this flight all the time.”

 

Jack rested his head against Zack’s shoulder again, mumbling something that sounded like ‘We can’t all be superheroes like you, Z.’ Before sighing and trying to fall back to sleep. Anytime the plane rocked, Zack would give his hand a light squeeze, his thumb brushing over the back to soothe his friend who was  _ not _ used to the way Pacific flights went. He resumed watching The Office, but was a bit distracted, occasionally glancing down at their hands tied together.

 

“Fuck!” Jack hissed when they hit a super rough patch and plane dipped a bit. Zack squeezed his hand once more.

 

“We must be flying over a storm.” Zack mumbled, looking out the window.

 

“I need a drink if we’re gonna be doing this the entire time.” Jack pouted.

 

“I’ll make you a drink when we get home.” He chuckled.

 

“Best be a strong one, Merrick.”

 

“A Jack special, you got it.” He rested his cheek against Jack’s hair, which made the guitarist blush a bit, but swear more when the plane continued to rock.

 

Finally, after another 10 minutes of rocking, they passed the storm and everything was smooth from there on out. Jack wondered if he should let go first, but…. It didn’t seem like Zack was going to let go of his hand anytime soon. He watched Zack’s thumb continue to soothe over his tan skin. It made Jack feel warm and safe, he fell asleep with a smile on on his face.

 

When they landed, Zack and Jack were still not letting go of each other. They walked off the plane and to the luggage carousel, hands still tangled together. It was late, almost midnight now, the day of traveling and time changes getting to both of them. Zack stifled a yawn, calling a cab from his phone. Jack still looked like he was asleep, so ready to crawl into bed.

 

The cab pulled up to the curb and the driver popped the trunk. Zack hauled their bags inside, with barely any help from sleepy Jack, finally being forced to let go of Jack’s hand. Once he slammed the trunk shut, they crawled into the backseat. Zack gave the driver his address, then glanced over at Jack.

 

The sleepy guitarist had left his hand in the center seat, palm-up, with a lazy smile as an invitation. Zack returned the smile and re-linked their hands.

 

“You all here for a honeymoon?” the cab driver asked, glancing at Zack through the rear-view mirror.

 

Surprisingly, Zack didn’t feel a surge of embarrassment and anger the way he’d felt all during tour. Instead, he smiled contentedly and shook his head. “Nah, I live here. He’s just visiting for a couple weeks.”

 

The cabbie nodded. “I didn’t recognize the address to be a hotel or resort, so that makes sense. Long flight?”

 

Zack made idle chit-chat with the driver for the rest of the trip, feeling relieved when the cab pulled up in front of his house. It was always so nice to be home. He shook Jack awake before getting out to start hauling their luggage. The driver helped him with a little bit of it, leaving the bags on the porch. As Zack closed the trunk, finally getting the last of their luggage, Jack started stumbling up the walkway to the house.

 

Zack paid the driver, including a generous tip, and bid the man goodnight. The cabbie smiled and left with a, “You and your boy have a good week!”

 

“Thanks,” Zack laughed, a burning in the pit of his stomach.  _ My boy. _

 

Thankfully, Jack helped him get the luggage inside, but only took one bag to his room with the excuse of, “M’too tired. Do it tomorrow.”

 

“Okay, sure, whatever,” Zack sighed, taking a few trips to get all his own stuff back to his room.

 

Jack had found his way into the guest room, immediately falling face-first into the bed. Zack glanced through the doorway, sighed again, and stopped to pull off Jack’s shoes.

 

“You’re a baby when you’re tired,” he grumbled.

 

“All I heard was you calling me baby,” Jack teased, voice muffled by the pillows.

 

Zack huffed a laugh, then left for his own room. Fuck, he was tired.

 

It was 3am when he heard his bedroom door swing open, he sat up in a panic, his heart racing in his throat as he tried to figure out who the intruder was. It was just Jack.

 

“Jesus Christ, J, you scared the fuck out of me.” He rubbed his forehead, getting an instant headache from being ripped out of a dead sleep.

 

“There’s something outside my window, and I’m pretty sure it’s an axe murderer or one of those scary killer clowns--”

 

“Or some of the wildlife, I do live near the jungle, J.”

 

Jack took his bottom lip in his teeth, Zack couldn’t help but notice the way the tall guitarist looked so scared and defenseless while standing in his doorway.

 

“Come on, get in.” He said, scooting over. Jack dashed to the side of the bed and happily climbed in next to Zack. He settled quickly against the pillow, closing his eyes with a sigh. Zack grinned lightly. “If I didn’t know better, I’d just say you were looking for an excuse to get into my bed.”

 

Jack cracked one eye open and grinned back sleepily. “Would that be so bad?”

 

Zack flushed and slowly shook his head against his pillow. But Jack didn’t see, he was already back to sleep, snoring lightly next to Zack. The bassist sighed and closed his own eyes.

 

“No, that wouldn’t be bad at all.”

 

Jack woke the next morning to his face pressed into Zack’s tattooed chest. He barely remembered climbing into Zack’s bed, but at the moment he didn’t care. He kept dozing in and out of sleep, his brain still tired from the day before’s long travels, but every time he woke up, he was reminded he had Zack all to himself for a week. When Zack finally woke up, he rolled on to his back and yawned, then glanced down to see Jack pressed into his side, still asleep. He remembered that Jack had gotten spooked by something and chuckled quietly. It would be good material to tease him with later. He managed to wiggle out of Jack’s hold and went to his kitchen, debating on where he should go for his morning run. Part of him said no, stay in bed with Jack, another part of him-- No, all of him wanted to stay in bed with Jack.

 

So he did. He made some coffee and climbed back into his bed, watching his friend sleep.

 

‘I need to tell you, I want to tell you, but I don’t know where to begin…’ He thought, reaching over and lightly petting through Jack’s sleep mussed hair.

 

“You keep doin’ that and I might have to stay asleep all day.” Jack’s sleep drunk voice rang through the quiet bedroom.

 

“Get as much sleep as you need, you’re probably jetlagged.” Zack mumbled in response, still running his fingers through Jack’s black and blue hair.

 

“You gonna go do your superhero training stuff?” Jack teased, rolling onto his side, eyes still closed.

 

“Nah, I can take a day off. I’m tired too, probably will just nap most of the day.” Zack said,  _ my boy, my boy, my boy  _ kept floating in his head as he watched Jack sleep.

 

“Mm good, your room is cold.” He sighed out, scooting closer to Zack and his warmth.

 

“Plus, wouldn’t want you to be in here alone and get scared by something again.” He grinned.

 

“Sheddup.” Jack mumbled, close enough to Zack that in order for the bassist to keep playing with his hair, he’d have to put an arm over him. Zack complied, trying to not let a blush smother his face as he became hyper aware of Jack’s nose brushing against his collarbone, and he could feel Jack’s small breaths brush against his chest.

 

“Hey J?”

 

“Hey Z.” Jack sighed in response, Zack couldn’t help but smile at his sass even while he was half asleep.

 

“We’re gonna go to the beach tomorrow, okay?” Zack’s heart thrummed a bit more when Jack nuzzled his face against his chest.

 

“That’s always okay.” Jack drawled before finally falling asleep.

 

“Sleep well… my boy.” He smiled lightly, before dozing off too.

  
  


Jack was sitting on Zack’s porch looking over the Hawaiian landscape with a cup of coffee in one hand, his cell phone in the other.

 

‘How’s it going out there in paradise?’ Received at 9:20am.

 

‘Beautifully.’ Sent at 9:23am. Jack’s smile hadn’t faded since they landed in Hawaii, he leaned his head back against the patio chair and sighed in content. 

 

‘Have you told him yet?’ Received at 9:24am.

 

‘No, and I won’t. I’m here with him alone for a week, I wouldn’t do anything to make this weird for us. Plus, if he kicked me out, I have no idea where I would go. There’s a lot of wildlife on this island. And scary killer clowns.’ Sent at 9:26am.

 

‘You slept in his bed, didn’t you?’ Received at 9:26am.

 

‘Didn’t you hear me, Lex? Scary. Killer. Clowns.’ Sent at 9:27am. 

 

‘Even if he said he didn’t feel the same way, there’s no way in hell that Zack would kick you out of his house. Give him a little more credit, J.’ Received at 9:28am.

 

Jack’s heart sank a little. He knew Al was right, but he still didn’t like the aspect of possibly being rejected.

 

‘I’m not gonna tell him, Al, I’m just gonna enjoy the week with him.’ Sent at 9:30am.

 

‘Whatever man, just… be honest with yourself. For once.’ Received at 9:30am.

 

Jack frowned and set his phone down, planning on just enjoying the morning breeze. But then Zack burst out onto the porch, the screen door very nearly slamming against the wall. Jack jumped several inches in his seat. “Jeez fuck, Zack, where’s the fire?”

 

“Have you checked Twitter since we landed?” the bassist asked, eyes wide.

 

“No…?” Jack answered uncertainly. “What’s up?”

 

Zack all but threw his phone in Jack’s face, where an All Time Low fan account had posted a photo of Alex and Rian at the airport, clinging to each other while they kissed goodbye. The caption was, ‘proof rilex is real????’ with several eye-emojis. Jack’s eyes went wide as he started scrolling through the replies. There was no way they’d get out of this one-- it wasn’t on stage, it wasn’t for the cameras. This was just pure, honest… Rian and Alex. And everyone, apparently, could tell.

 

“Does Alex know?” he asked, finally handing Zack’s phone back.

 

“I have no idea. Probably not. He tends to ignore the social media stuff for a day or two after getting home, y’know?”

 

“He’s gonna be devastated.” Then Jack scowled. “I can’t believe I found out at the same time as the paparazzi! This fucking sucks!”

 

“Focus, Jack.”

 

“He’s  _ my _ best friend! I should’ve been the first one to know! And after all these years--” -- _ of us complaining about boys together. _ Jack shuts his mouth, letting Zack believe that he’s just silently fuming.

 

“Call him. I’ll call Rian.”

 

“Yeah, okay.” He picked his phone back up and dialed. He watched Zack do the same. They both made the calls, then looked at each other.

 

“He’s not answering.”

 

“Neither is Al.” Jack looked at his phone, and started texting him. ‘Call me asap,’ Sent at 9:50am.

  
  
  


“Ri, what do we do???” Alex breathed into the phone. He was huddled on his bed, in the dark of his house, his two dogs cuddled on his legs.

 

“There’s not much was can do, Lexi, it’s out in the open.” Rian didn’t sound nearly as panicked as Alex felt.

 

“I… I’m worried, Ri…”

 

“I know, sweetheart, but hey, if it makes you feel any better, the most negative thing on that picture were people whining about ‘Jalex.’” Alex could hear the smile in Rian’s voice. It made him smile too. “Our fans love us as a whole, and obviously, are very supportive no matter what.”

 

“I know, but… It’s a big deal…”

 

“I know it is, but…” He heard Rian sigh lightly. “You love me, right?”

 

“Of course!” Alex nearly shouted, worried he had hurt Rian.

 

“And I love you. We got this. Nothing’s gonna stop us. Okay?”

 

“Okay… yeah, you’re right.” He sighed again, wishing Rian was with him rather than through a phone. He reached down and stroked his puppy’s head. “I wish you were here… I’m hiding in my room with the dogs and--”

 

“Al, don’t let this ruin your week, please?” He could hear the worry in Rian’s voice.

 

“I’m sorry… I’m just…”

 

“I know, I know.” There was a pause in their conversation, Alex played with the long fur on one of his dog’s ear. “Hey--” Rian’s voice suddenly had a mischievous tone. “Do me a favor, go to your front door, I sent you something and I think it should be there by now.”

 

Alex grinned and scrambled off the bed. “What?? Did you send me flowers?? You cheese ball.” He gasped. “Did you send me a pizza??” He halted at the front door and opened it, nearly dropping his phone when he saw his surprise.

 

“Rian!” He launched himself at his boyfriend, hugging him tight, burying his face into his shoulder. “Oh my God, oh my God, this is the best present you’ve ever gotten me.”

 

Rian smiled and held his boyfriend’s face, kissing him everywhere he could reach. “A day and a half without you and I was going insane.” He kissed him deeply, sighing against him as he felt Alex relax.

 

“I missed you so much. So fucking much.” Alex mumbled against his lips before grabbing him by the front of his jacket, pulling them both inside, shutting the door, and ignoring their phones that were buzzing with calls and messages from Jack and Zack.

  
  


“Well, they’re not answering, they must be talking to each other.” Jack looked at Zack who was settled into the patio chair next to him.

 

“I hope Al is alright, he’s a sensitive boy, you know.” He grinned, quoting one of Alex’s interview answers.

 

“Ri’s got him, I’m sure.” Jack smiled lightly, looking out at the landscape again. He started thinking about what kind of boyfriend Zack was again. “What would you do if the public found out about--” He nearly choked, not realizing he was talking out loud.

 

“Found out about my relationship?” Zack finished, pondering on it. “I mean, I’d probably be nervous at first, but then I’d be happy. We’d be able to touch in public, be affectionate whenever we wanted. Show the public that y---” He coughed loudly, his ears turning scarlet. “Show the public that my partner belonged to me and how much I loved them.”

 

Jack loved the way Zack sounded talking about this, he sounded so fond and… calm, talking about this. He started to wonder if Zack had anyone in mind. It certainly sounded like he did.

 

“So Zackykins, sounds like you have someone in mind? Who might the lucky girl be?” He tried not to sound like the question hurt him.

 

Zack had a small secret smile, looking down at his hands. “I do have someone in mind but... “ He sighed, and leaned his head back against the patio chair. “They don’t know I exist, really.”

 

Jack let out a little gasp, still trying to ignore the pang he felt. “Someone doesn’t know you exist?? How is that possible?? I mean, you’re a living Greek God, for fuck’s sake.”

 

Zack chuckled lightly. “We’re just friends...  That’s all they’ll ever see me as.” He gave Jack a small sad smile, his eyes lingering over Jack’s face.

 

Jack’s face suddenly fell very serious. “Zack. Are you in love with Alex?”

 

Zack felt like he had been slapped in the face, blinking several times at him. “I---I--- what??”

  
“Oh my GOD, it makes  _ so _ much sense now! Of course he’s only gonna see you as a friend, because he’s with Rian!!” He stood, nearly shouting at Zack who looked bewildered, his brain screaming ‘Wow you’re a fucking idiot’ over and over. 

 

“He’s dating  _ Rian _ , Zack! You can’t hurt them, I won’t let you!”

 

Zack stood, his arms crossing. “It’s not Alex, J--”

 

“Of course it is! God, how did I miss it, you getting angry when he touches me, when we share rooms-- How did I not--”

 

Zack grabbed the front of his shirt, pulled him close and crashed their lips together.

 

He pulled away from the guitarist for a moment, Jack’s brain as blank as his expression. He reached up and softly cupped Jack’s face.

 

“It’s not Alex, Jack. It’s you. It’s always been you.”

 

“I-I… I-I--” Jack’s brain was slowly rebooting, as he stared at Zack.

 

“I’ve been in love with you for a while now, and I…” He sighed, stepping back, realizing  _ holy shit I just fucking kissed Jack Barakat. _ “I’m sorry, I should have talked to you first instead of just kissing you, I understand if you don’t feel the same way, I just couldn’t take it anymore--”

 

Jack’s brain finally turned back on, realized Zack was babbling, trying to worm his way out of the situation. He stepped forward, grabbed Zack’s face and kissed him to shut him up. When he pulled back, he rested his forehead against Zack’s, both of their faces bright red.

 

“I’ve been in love with you for 15 fuckin’ years.” He sighed, keeping his eyes closed. “Jesus Christ, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to tell you that.”

 

Zack blinked at him for a moment, eyes wide, and then started shaking with laughter. Jack opened his eyes and pouted.

 

“What are you laughing at?”

 

“Alex-- Alex and Rian spent the last few days of tour  _ begging _ me to just tell you how I feel,” Zack managed to say between wheezing laughs. “I thought they were being, y’know, optimistic, but… God, we’re so  _ blind, _ Jack.”

 

They laughed together on the porch, clinging to each other like they were afraid to let go. After a few moments, Zack sobered a little bit and cupped Jack’s face in his hands. “ _ I’ve _ been so blind, Jack.”

 

All Jack could do was kiss him again, relishing the way Zack fit against him, the way Zack squeezed his hips and pulled him close. Then Jack’s stomach betrayed him with a loud growl, but it was almost worth having to stop kissing Zack just to see Zack laugh.

 

“Breakfast?”

 

“Yes, please,” Jack grinned. Then he gave Zack a gratuitous once-over. “Is there hunky bassist on the menu this morning?”

 

“I think I have pancake mix,” Zack teased back. “We’ll have to get groceries today.”

 

“Can we get some wine and shit so I can make you a fancy dinner?” Jack grinned, following Zack into the house.

 

“You want to make me dinner?” He looked at Jack, quirking an eyebrow. “You can cook?”

 

“Hey, I not only can craft up a mean drink, I can also cook a freakin’ delicious meal.” He grinned, leaning against the kitchen counter as Zack started preparing their breakfast.

 

“You’ve never cooked for me before.”

 

“You’ve never kissed me before.” Jack snarked back with a big grin on his face.

 

“We’ve known each other for fifteen years, how did I never know you can cook?” He leaned around Jack to grab the whisk, Jack taking the opportunity to grab his face and kiss him again. Zack grinned when Jack let go. “You know, it’s very hard to cook when you’re so distracting.” 

 

“Oh I’m sorry, I’ll try and be less of a distraction, master chef Merrick.” Jack winked at him, but didn’t move. They continued talking comfortably until they were sitting at the bar top, eating together. Jack melted into the food,  _ fuck _ Zack’s pancakes were a thousand times better than any of the hotel pancakes.

 

“Good?” Zack asked, taking a bite of his own pancakes.

 

“ _ So _ good, you wear domestic well.” He smirked at Zack, stuffing some more food in his mouth. Zack shot him a smirk back.

 

“With you, I wouldn't mind being domestic.”

 

Jack nearly choked and turned scarlet, Zack let out a laugh.

 

“Har har har,” Jack grinned, butting his knuckles into the bassist’s shoulder.

 

Zack kept smiling as they ate, when they had finished, they continued their idle comfortable chatter.

 

“So fifteen years, huh?” Zack’s eyes were lightly tracing over Jack who was gazing right back at him.

 

“I begged Al to get you to join the band. I kept going on and on about the hot skater kid with the bass until he got annoyed enough with me to talk to you.” Zack looked down with a smile on his face, his heart fluttering a bit. Jack thought he was going to die from how cute he looked. 

“I remember telling Al we had to act super gay on stage so that when  _ you _ and I interacted on stage you wouldn't figure out that I was actually genuinely flirtin’ with you.”

 

Zack played with the hem of his shirt. “God, I had no idea, truly. In fact, the more you and Al acted that way on stage, the more I was convinced you and him were actually a thing and I had zero chance with you.”

 

“Wait… is that why you've been acting weird all tour? You were  _ jealous??? _ ”

 

Zack flushed red but nodded.

 

“Holy shit…. I thought you were acting that way because you had figured out that I've been in love with you.”

 

Zack chuckled quietly, finally looking back up at Jack. “I'm such an idiot, I should have just told you when I first realized I had feelings for you.”

 

“When was that?” Jack asked, his heart melting when he saw the fond look in Zack’s eyes, and he finally knew it was all meant for him.

 

“There’s always been something there, I always knew I had some level of feelings for you, but when we were writing Don't Panic, you and Al did an acoustic of Backseat Serenade for Rian and I, and I just remember watching only you and thinking ‘...fuck.’” He rubbed the back of his neck, a blush settling on his cheeks. “It's pretty much been torture ever since.” He chuckled. “Then this tour I just, I don't know why, I couldn't handle it anymore, so I thought the best way to get over you was to just ignore what I felt for you.”

 

“Well, I'm glad I accused you of being in love with Al, ‘cause who knows how long we would have kept up that charade.” Jack grinned, standing up, leaning over, kissing Zack’s cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It only took us 17k to get there, but we got there.


	4. Loving

“So, groceries then beach?”

 

“No! Beach first!! The store will be there when we get back!” Jack smiled loading up the dishwasher.

 

“You don’t have to do the dishes, J, you’re a guest here.”

 

“Please, you and I both know I’ve been to your house too many times to be considered a guest.”

 

A couple hours later, Jack was grinning in the sun, his phone pointed at Zack as the bassist set up beach chairs on a private little beach near Zack’s house. 

 

He took a picture of Zack’s concentration face and sent it to Alex with the caption ‘ _ He made me breakfast, wow my crush is getting worse.’ _ He smirked and sent it off.

 

“What’s that grin for?” Zack asked, handing Jack some sunscreen. 

 

“We’re gonna tell Al and Ri today, but we’re going to torture them a little.” Tossing the bottle on to the sand without applying it.

 

“Why?” He chuckled.

 

“Minor revenge for Al not telling me he started seeing Rian.”

 

Zack laughed and pulled out his own phone. “I’ll be happy to help you on that endeavor.” He reached into the cooler and held out a beer for Jack. The guitarist accepted with a thanks, plopping down into a beach chair with the beverage. Zack snapped a picture and sent it to Rian with the caption ‘ _ Beach day. Cabbie called him my boy when he dropped us off. Pray I can survive the week.’ _

 

Jack’s phone buzzed and he laughed. “Al says I need to stop being stupid and just talk to you.”

 

Zack grinned sitting in the chair next to Jack, soon, his phone buzzed too. Jack leaned over to see Rian’s response.

 

“He says I need to get my head out of my ass, and trust that everything will turn out okay.” Zack looked at Jack with a small smile. “He’s not wrong.”

 

Jack smiled back, leaning in and giving him a soft kiss. Zack reached up, holding Jack’s face to him. When they broke apart Jack looked a bit dazed but deliriously happy.

 

“Can I bury you in the sand?” Jack grinned. Zack laughed but nodded. “Really??” Jack sounded so excited.

 

“Yeah, make sure you take some pictures to send to them.” He stood and stretched, and heard Jack’s camera snap. He looked at the guitarist smiling. “Are you just gonna take pictures of me all day?”

 

“Hell yeah. I need a new phone background. Gotta keep my boyfriend in my pocket at all times.”

 

Zack’s face flushed red, but he leaned down, putting his hands on the armrests of the beach chair, trapping Jack in the seat. He grinned lightly. “Your boyfriend, hm?”

 

“Well, I figured, you know, since I told you I’ve been in love with you for fifteen years, that you’d be okay with me calling you my boyfriend.” Jack rambled, his face turning scarlet. Zack chuckled and kissed him.

  
“You can call me your boyfriend, if I can call you mine.” He muttered against Jack’s lips who nodded eagerly, kissing his bassist again.

 

“Now lie down so I can bury you!” Jack grinned again.

 

“Alright, alright.” He went to a patch where the sun had warmed the sand and settled into the soft sand, watching Jack’s face while the guitarist started digging out sand around him in a trench, then burying him back with it. 

 

When he was done, he took pictures of Zack’s exposed head and sent a picture to Al with the caption ‘ _ He’s seriously being so sweet to me, he brought my favorite beer and he let me bury him in the sand. I might cry.’ _ He sent it to Rian and Alex after relaying the message to Zack. Jack lied on his stomach, holding conversation with Zack, fluffing some sand out of his hair. Zack leaned his head into Jack’s hand.

 

“Fuckin-- How did I not even see it when we were in Maryland? You were being so affectionate-- I told Al you were so happy because we were just at the beach.”

 

“I mean, the beach was a plus. But I was definitely happy because I was with  _ you  _ at the beach.”

 

“I really am oblivious, aren’t I?”

 

“Doesn’t matter now,” Zack smiled up at him, Jack trailed his fingers over Zack’s face, petting his cheek, running a thumb over the bridge of his nose. Zack closed his eyes in content.

 

Jack’s phone buzzed, he started cackling. “Alex is getting mad! He said ‘Just fucking tell him!!!’”

 

Zack laughed too. This went on for a while, Jack took a selfie of him right next to Zack’s exposed head, both pulling goofy faces.

 

A little while later, Zack was unburied, they were standing waist deep in the crystal blue water, Zack took a selfie with Jack’s head on his shoulder, sent it to Rian with a fake sad smile, the caption reading ‘ _ I wish I had the courage to tell him. _ ’

 

“How many more pictures before we tell them? Their responses are getting more frustrated.” Zack laughed when Rian just replied ‘Fucking tell him, you idiot.’

 

“Just one more. Here--” He took Zack’s phone and held it out for a selfie, Zack reached up, pulling Jack to him by the chin and kissed him, his other hand pulling him closer by the hip. Jack closed his eyes, kissing him deeply, taking the picture. He wrapped his arm around Zack’s neck and sighed against him. “I can’t believe I get to kiss you.” He mumbled with a loving smile. “I can’t believe you’re my boyfriend now.”

 

Zack’s smile rivaled the sun, he put both hands on Jack’s hips, loving the way they clicked together, fitting perfectly against each other. “I can’t believe it either. Now send the picture to Rian and Alex, they’re gonna die.”

 

Jack sent the kissing selfie to Alex & Rian with the caption ‘ _ Oh my God.’ _

 

It took 30 seconds for Alex to call them on Facetime. When they answered, they were greeted by Alex just yelling loudly at the phone. Zack kept a hand on Jack’s slim waist, they were both grinning at the screen.

 

“I FUCKING TOLD YOU!!! YOU TWO ARE SUCH IDIOTS, I’M SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW!!!” Alex was yelling at them through the camera, Rian took the phone, Alex was still yelling in the background.

 

“You two are idiots-- Al, you’re scaring the dogs-- But congrats on finally not being idiots long enough to talk it out.”

 

“You’re in LA?” Jack asked, grinning widely as they still heard Alex yelling.

 

“Couldn’t be away from him for very long-- Hey!” The dogs started barking, and howling in response to Alex’s screaming. “Alex, babe, calm down!”

 

“Tell us how it happened!!” Alex pushed his cheek against Rian’s so they could both be on screen.

 

They went through the whole thing, Jack accusing Zack of being in love with Alex, Zack suddenly kissing Jack- the whole thing. Jack smiled and kissed Zack’s cheek, earning another yell of happiness from Alex.

 

“So should we plan on coming out another time? You guys want some more alone time than a week?” Rian grinned, winking at them. Zack let out a nervous laugh, Jack blushed scarlet. 

 

“Just don’t break Jack’s hips, Z, he’s still gotta be able to run around on stage.”

 

Jack let out a strangled laugh while Zack turned red. “You guys fuckin’ suck.” Jack said, his voice high and squeaky. “And are you insinuating I’m gonna be his bottom all the time??”

 

Zack wanted to die of embarrassment, but Alex just cackled.

 

“Jack, sweetie, do you want me to lay out 15 years of  receipts ?”

 

“ALEX, STOP TALKING!” Jack bellowed at the phone, the two on the other end dying of laughter.

 

Zack turned and pressed his burning face into Jack’s shoulder. “Oh my god, shut those two morons off.”

 

“GOODBYE, DICKS!” Jack yelled at them, earning a “Noo!” From both of them, but he ended the Facetime call. He let out nervous laughter, which really sounded like giggles on helium. “They’re just idiots, don’t listen to them.”

 

Zack laughed nervously too and let go of Jack’s waist, far too aware of every sensation at the moment. Christ, that conversation had turned him into a nervous teenager again. They waded around in the water for a few more minutes before going to lie back on the beach. They lied their towel next to each other and basked in the warm Hawaiian sun. Jack took his boyfriend’s hand, earning a smile from the bassist.

 

“Hey Z,” Jack tilted his head toward him a little while later.

 

“Hm?” Zack replied, his eyes closed, face towards the sun.

 

“Wanna make out?”

 

Zack’s eyes shot open, he stared wide-eyed at Jack. “I--- what??”

 

“What? We’re on a private beach, you’re hot as heck, and I wanna make out with my boyfriend.”

 

Zack stared at him for a moment then grinned. “What are waiting for then, get over here, babe.”

 

“You called me babe!” Jack rolled over twice to reach Zack, smiling down at him.

 

They lie out in the sand for what feels like hours, Jack sprawled over Zack’s chest as they lazily exchange kisses. The sun is high in the sky when Zack finally mumbles, “We should probably go get lunch or something. Still need to go grocery shopping.”

 

Jack pouts but sat up, feeling an aching pull in the skin of his back. He hissed and swore under his breath. “I think I got sunburnt. What the fuck.”

 

“Shit, you didn’t put on sunscreen, did you?”

 

“Well, it was early in the morning when we got here, I didn’t think I was at risk--” He pouted, hissing a bit more as he stood.

 

“Jack, you  _ always _ should wear sunscreen. Especially since you don’t usually run around outside without a shirt. Turn around, let me see.” He sat up and Jack turned. He grimaced seeing the red splotches blossoming over Jack’s tan shoulders and down his back. “Oh, fuck, babe, that’s gonna hurt tomorrow. Come on, let’s get to a pharmacy and get you some stuff for the pain.” He stood and helped gather the items up from the beach. When they got to the car, he took a better look at Jack’s back. “Yikes, okay, I’ll have to draw you a cold bath when we get back.”

 

“I can NOT believe I got sunburnt.” Jack mumbled, prodding a red spot on his arm, watching it fade from white back to red. “Man, I won’t be able to have sex for a few days, this already hurts like a motherfucker.”

 

Zack choked, staring at Jack. “Jack, we’ve been dating for like, 5 hours--”

 

Jack pouted once more. “Are you saying you don’t want to sleep with me?”

 

Zack’s face flushed-- damn Jack was good at making him blush. “Of course I want to sleep with you, J, but maybe chill.”

 

Jack laughed and climbed into the car, hissing as he set his sunburnt back against the warm leather seats of Zack’s car.

 

“Wh-- don’t get in bare chested! The leather will only irritate it, you idiot. Here, wear this.” He handed Jack his Underarmor hoodie that had a very soft cotton lining. His eyebrow quirked once Jack had put it on. He sure did like the way Jack looked in his clothes. 

 

They went to the pharmacy, got enough aloe gel to cure every sunburnt tourist in Hawaii, then made their way to the grocery store. Zack was looking at some coffee when Jack came back down the aisle with a cart that had food and ingredients in it. There was also two bottles of red wine in the kids seat. Zack looked at him and grinned.

 

“I forgot you promised me dinner tonight. I’m very excited to see what you cook for me, Chef Jack.”

 

“Get ready to have your tastebuds tickled, baby.” Jack earned a laugh from Zack.

 

Zack added some coffee, and some food to fill up his entry fridge and pantry. “We’ll have to come back before Rian and Alex get here.” He tapped his chin and wandered off, Jack following with the cart. They stopped in the nutrition aisle, Zack looking between two vitamin bottles.

 

“What are those for?” Jack put an arm around his boyfriend’s-- God, it was good to call Zack his boyfriend-- shoulders and looked at the bottles with him.

 

“This will help your skin heal when you inevitably start peeling. I’m just comparing the brands.”

 

“Awe, you take such good care of me.” He grinned, kissing Zack’s ear.

 

Zack smiled, tilted his head and kissed his sunburnt boyfriend. They continued around the store for a while, picking up the groceries they’d need for the next weeks and getting some stuff to make Jack’s longer stay more comfortable. Zack hummed softly looking at the fluffy blankets that were on sale when Jack found him and dumped something in the cart. Zack glanced in, his face furiously turning red.

 

“Y-you think we’re gonna need 5 packs of condoms, Jack? Seriously?” He thought he was going to pass out with all the blood rushing to his face.

 

Jack grinned and wiggled his eyebrows. “I’ve seen you work out, I know how much stamina you have. Al was probably right in telling you not to break my hips.” His grin grew wider as Zack covered his flaming face with his hands. “You’re so cute when you blush!”

 

“Jack--” He whined quietly, he sometimes forgot how blunt Jack could be. “You’re gonna kill me, babe.” He sighed and put a couple of the blankets in the cart too.

 

“What are those for?” Zack tilted his head at the blankets.

 

“Extra blankets for the guest bedroom. Gotta make sure Rian and Alex are comfortable when they get here.”

 

“Am I gonna sleep on the pullout couch?” Jack asked, genuinely curious.

 

Zack looked at him like he had two heads. “No, dummy, you’re staying in my room.”

 

It was Jack’s turn to blush, but he smiled widely too. “I get to stay in your room!” He flung his arms around Zack, giggling lightly against his shoulder.

 

“Well duh, I gotta protect you from the scary clowns, right?”

 

Jack lightly smacked his shoulder. “Way to ruin the moment.” He pecked Zack’s lips before meandering off to another aisle. “Can we go soon? My back is starting to really hurt.” Jack called from the next aisle over. 

 

“I’m done anyhow, so yes.” Zack called back, pushing the full cart after Jack.

 

Jack helped bring the groceries in the house as best as he could, but he could really start to feel the pain of the sunburn.

 

“Zack--” He whined, his upper body stiff as he tried not to move. “It hurts so bad--”

 

Zack could see tears threatening Jack’s big doe eyes. “I know, baby, just give me two minutes and I’ll get you a bath going.” He hurriedly put the refrigerated items away before going to his bathroom and drawing a lukewarm bath. He ordered Jack in, who complained loudly about the cold temperature as Zack gathered things to help the sunburn.

 

“It’s only cold to your skin because you’ve got a nasty burn.” He said, entering the bathroom with a big metal bowl and a hand towel over his shoulder.

 

“What’s that?” Jack asked, he could smell something fragrant coming from the bowl.

 

“Earl grey tea steeping in cold water.” Zack placed the bowl on the bathroom counter, Jack would have teased him for obviously avoiding looking at his nude form, but the pain in his back just made him grumpy and in no mood to tease.

 

“I don’t want iced tea right now, Z.” He muttered, prodding at a sunburn patch on his upper arm.

 

“Stop that--” Zack had walked over to the tub and pulled Jack’s hand away from his arm. “And it’s not tea to drink, it’s an old trick to help sunburns heal faster. Once you’ve soaked enough to pull most of the heat out of your skin, I’ll have you lie on the bed and put the towel on your back.” He sat on the edge of the tub, keeping his eyes up and only on Jack’s face.

 

“How long do I have to soak?”

 

“20 minutes.”

 

“But it’s cold!!” He was going to be miserable. He looked down at the water his red skin was wrapped in.

 

Zack put his fingers under Jack’s chin, guiding his face back up, and smiled sweetly at him. Jack’s heart thumped seeing that fond look again.

 

“I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” He kissed him softly, making Jack sigh and relax a bit. “Now lie back in the water-- yes I know it’s cold,” he cut off Jack’s complaint before the guitarist could even open his mouth, “But trust me when I say it’s the best way to get rid of your burn.”

 

Jack pouted and didn’t move.

 

“Jack--” Zack’s voice started with a warning tone.

 

“Call me baby again, and I’ll consider listening to you.” He grinned cheekily up at his boyfriend.

 

Zack chuckled and ran a thumb affectionately over Jack’s cheek and nose. “Lie back in the water, baby, it’ll only be cold for a minute.”

 

Jack finally obeyed, hissing a bit as he sunk neck deep into the cool water. “I’m sh-shivering, y-you’re gonna give me pneumonia.” His teeth had started to chatter.

 

Zack dipped a finger in the water to correctly check the temperature. “The water is lukewarm, you won’t catch pneumonia. It feels cold because of your burn.” He reminded Jack again. “You’ve got 15 minutes left, you’ll survive.” 

 

“You’re a mean boyfriend.” Jack mumbled, not meaning a word of it.

 

“And you’re grumpy. What do you want for lunch?” He stood to go make his poor, sunburnt, grumpy Jack some food.

 

“A grilled cheese.” He looked up at Zack. “With tomato soup.”

 

“What’s the magic word?” Zack grinned. Jack stuck out his tongue. Zack leaned back down, taking his chin. “That’s not the magic word. Be a good boy and use your manners.” His voice was barely a whisper, and it sent an excited shiver down Jack’s spine, he’d never seen that side of Zack before.

 

“Please Zackykins, can I have a grilled cheese and soup?”

 

Zack grinned and kissed him. “A grilled cheese and tomato soup, coming right up.”

 

Jack sunk back into the water, a blush on his cheeks and a smile on his face.

 

His twenty minutes went by a little slow, but he smelled something delicious coming from the kitchen and when he was debating on saying Fuck It, Zack came back with a dishtowel over his shoulder, and a bath towel in his hands.

 

“I warmed up the towel for you.” He set it next to the bathtub, and went over to check on the tea steeping in the bowl. Jack got out of the tub and dried off with the warm, soft towel, wrapping it around his waist. His skin felt tight, but didn’t hurt nearly as bad. He sauntered over and hugged his boyfriend from behind.

 

“Jack, you’re getting my shirt wet.”

 

“Who cares?” Jack muttered against his shoulder.

 

Zack chuckled and sunk a hand towel into the bowl letting it soak in the earl grey scented water. “Your lunch is on the bed, go eat.”

 

“You’re so bossy, I kinda like it.” Jack grinned before going to the bedroom where a tray was sitting on the bed with a fresh, hot grilled cheese and bowl of steaming soup. “God, I can’t get enough of your cooking.” He said with his mouth full. He heard Zack chuckle from the bathroom.

 

When Jack had finished his lunch, Zack instructed him to lie on his stomach on the bed. Jack did so, but wiggled his towel covered ass in Zack’s direction.

 

“What are you doing, dork?” Zack said, bringing in the bowl and soaked hand towel.

 

“Waiting for you to spank me, daddy!” Giggles exploded from his shit-eating grin.

 

Zack immediately groaned and made a gagging sound. “Bad joke J, terrible, terrible joke.”

 

“You know you love my bad jokes.” Jack grinned over his shoulder. Zack just rolled his eyes, but smiled nonetheless. He set the bowl on the nightstand and rung out the towel gently.

 

“It’s gonna be cold,” He muttered before laying the soaked towel flat across Jack’s back, covering the sunburn as best as he could.

 

Jack whined and his shoulders tensed. “It’s so cold!”

 

“I know, babe, but it’ll help. Lie your arms out.” He said, opening a bottle of aloe. Jack obeyed again, still complaining about the cold towel. “You’ll be alright.” Zack soothed, rubbing a glob of aloe into Jack’s arms.

 

An hour or so later, Jack was sitting on the couch with Zack’s Underarmor hoodie back on, his long legs, the only part of him that wasn’t sunburnt, sticking out of basketball shorts, spread out over Zack’s lap.

 

“Hey,” Jack mumbled, nudging Zack’s elbow with his knee.

 

“Hey.” Zack smiled in response, looking away from the Ravens game on the television.

 

“I didn’t… I didn’t annoy you today, did I? I know I’m a big baby when it comes to pain, but--” He played with the strings of Zack’s hoodie. “I really do appreciate you taking care of me.”

 

Zack smiled, leaned over, pulled Jack over to him by the front of the sweatshirt, and kissed him sweetly. “You could never annoy me, Jackie.” Jack beamed and kissed his boyfriend again.

 

They exchanged lazy kisses, forgetting the football game, (that Zack actually had a bet on with Alex) Zack pulled Jack to him, the guitarist slotting comfortably between his boyfriend’s legs as they burned away the afternoon sun inside on the couch.

 

“Z?” Jack mumbled having rested his head on Zack’s shoulder while the bassist delicately ran his fingers over Jack’s back, wary of irritating his sunburn.

 

“Hm?” Zack sighed in response, his eyes were closed, Jack could tell he was drifting in and out of sleep. 

 

Jack leaned up and kissed his jaw, Zack smiled sleepily. “Tell me again, tell me how you fell in love with me.”

 

Zack opened an eye, then pressed a kiss to Jack’s forehead. “When we were writing Don’t Panic, you and Al played Backseat Serenade for Ri and I. It was like the world melted away. I could only see you, how focused, how happy you looked.” He ran his fingers through Jack’s hair. “All I could think was, “Fuck, I’m in love with him.”” 

 

Jack propped himself up, looking down at Zack with a small smile on his face. “Do you love me?”

 

Zack smiled softly, reaching up and brushing his thumb over Jack’s cheek. “More than anything.”

 

Jack glanced down, tracing his fingers over the collar of Zack’s t-shirt. “Can…. can you say it?” He flushed. Zack smiled, his hand cupping under Jack’s chin, pulling his face up and to him until their lips were brushing.

 

“I love you, Jack Barakat.” He whispered sweetly, pressing their lips together. He could feel Jack’s smile in the kiss. Jack barely pulled away, pressing his forehead to Zack’s.

 

“I love you, Zack Merrick.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading our fluffy drabble

**Author's Note:**

> @OrangePatrick and I wrote this together last year, and it's been sitting in our Google Docs for a while so here it is in all it's angsty glory!


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